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Sandra Bullock won for Best Actress In A Leading Role at The Oscars last night and I think she was well deserving. I haven’t seen The Blind Side yet but I remember seeing the trailer forever ago and thought it would be a good movie. She was thrilled to win the award but said that she wanted to “nap”.

When Sandra Bullock says “nap” she really means sneak away with me to a little cottage in Cabo and have wild sex for a week or so. I know the press didn’t pick up on it but me and her know what the “nap” code means. And that is all that is really important. I was thinking of a couple of kinky things I could do with the Oscars trophy but my last girlfriend ditched me for a guy named Oscar so those thoughts immediately left my head.

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Mariah Carey talked to the press passively the other day and people think that since she has a certain curvy figure as of late, that she might be pregnant. If Mariah wasn’t pregnant she would crush the pregnancy rumors right away cause she is not really an attention whore who does anything for the spotlight.

But then again, if she ispregnant she is being kind of koy so maybe she is an attention whore. She was asked what all is going on and she said she had plans coming up and “But there’s also something else very special on the way. I can’t say any more.” Maybe that special something is a trip to the liposuction clinic cause I know that tiny penis of Nick Canon does not have the power to impregnate a girl. Has that dude even hit puberty yet?

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Michelle Rodriguez used to be on this show Lost but she was killed off in the second season. Apparently the producers have zero testicles. Either that or their wives were getting jealous that their husbands were off shooting in a tropical paradise with the super hotty that is Michelle Rodriguez.

Anyway, I will not be tuning in because I think (know) Lost is one of the worst shows in television history. You figured that after a couple seasons they would find a way to get off the island or turn the entire thing into one big orgy cause they knew they were going to die soon. See? That is why I need to work in television.

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Weekend links that are back from the dead

Mo’Nique says it is cool if her husband cheats on her- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

See which four contestants were voted off of American Idol, then laugh- Daily Stab

J.Lo is gonna be on How I Met Your Mother- Geno’s World

Sophie Vergara can save America- IDLYITW

Take a ride on Goldfrapp’s rocket- popbytes

Rumor Willis shared a kiss with Jessica Lowndes- Drunken Stepfather

Daryll Hannah nude in a movie. Trust me. You don’t wanna see this- yeeeah

Jennifer Aniston is good at sitting. Probably good at taking a dump too- IBBB

It seems that times are tough for Playgirl magazine because business is so bad that they made Jon Gosselin an offer to be in the magazine. I do not read Playgirl so I am not sure how well endowed their models are but I know one thing for sure, Jon does not fit the bill. The other day I took a look at a leaked Twitter picture that Hailey Glassman posted on her Twitter account. And I can safely say that Jon will not be taking his clothes off for money anytime soon.

The pic showed Jon fully aroused with a tape measure up to him, and the dude is seriously 2 inches. If I were in his shoes I would just tuck that thing away and pretend to be a girl. Anyway, Playgirl is only offering $20k in the first place cause they think Jo is ugly and that they would do the shoot more for the novelty of it instead of actually trying to turn chicks ( or gay dudes) on.

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It seems that Sarah Palin is going through some sort of identity crisis cause she doesn’t know what she wants to do with herself. First she is the governor of Alaska, a job just about any politician would kill for. Then, she runs with John McCain for the vice presidential slot in the 2008 election. And now she wants to be a tv producer.

Keep in mind that she also inked a deal with Fox news to be a regular person to be interviewed about republican stuff and even tried her hand in stand up on The Tonight Show. Oh yea, and she wrote a book so add author to the growing list of hats Sarah likes to wear. I would just be happy if she wore nothing. Yes. That would get my vote.

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