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Lindsay Lohan apparently manages to watch tv when she isn’t out in public making an ass out of herself and she saw the latest Etrade ad that ran for the first time during the Superbowl. In the commercial a baby is referred to as a “milkaholic” and the baby’s name happens to be Lindsay.

Apparently LiLo wants the world to know she wouldn’t drink that vile liquid referred to as milk and that she is strictly a booze hound. Therefore, she is suing Etrade for $100 million. Fuckin’ ridiculous. She will lose but she will also probably get a handsome out of court settlement that will pay her bar tabs for the next few months. Victory: Lindsay!

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Corey Haim was found dead this morning from an apparent drug overdose. Not sure which drug yet but I am sure the police department out there in California will leak that shit to the press pretty soon cause that is how they make like 70% of their money. By leaking shit to the press.

This is definitely pretty sucky. I liked Corey Haim a lot and I grew up with two teenage sisters in the 80’s so I saw all of his movies like a million times. Some people think Haim and his long time friend Corey Feldman weren’t friends when Haim passed but they were spotted by TMZ cams talking to the paparazzi about two weeks ago. That is a good thing. RIP Corey Haim.

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Sandra Bullock won for Best Actress In A Leading Role at The Oscars last night and I think she was well deserving. I haven’t seen The Blind Side yet but I remember seeing the trailer forever ago and thought it would be a good movie. She was thrilled to win the award but said that she wanted to “nap”.

When Sandra Bullock says “nap” she really means sneak away with me to a little cottage in Cabo and have wild sex for a week or so. I know the press didn’t pick up on it but me and her know what the “nap” code means. And that is all that is really important. I was thinking of a couple of kinky things I could do with the Oscars trophy but my last girlfriend ditched me for a guy named Oscar so those thoughts immediately left my head.

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Mariah Carey talked to the press passively the other day and people think that since she has a certain curvy figure as of late, that she might be pregnant. If Mariah wasn’t pregnant she would crush the pregnancy rumors right away cause she is not really an attention whore who does anything for the spotlight.

But then again, if she ispregnant she is being kind of koy so maybe she is an attention whore. She was asked what all is going on and she said she had plans coming up and “But there’s also something else very special on the way. I can’t say any more.” Maybe that special something is a trip to the liposuction clinic cause I know that tiny penis of Nick Canon does not have the power to impregnate a girl. Has that dude even hit puberty yet?

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Michelle Rodriguez used to be on this show Lost but she was killed off in the second season. Apparently the producers have zero testicles. Either that or their wives were getting jealous that their husbands were off shooting in a tropical paradise with the super hotty that is Michelle Rodriguez.

Anyway, I will not be tuning in because I think (know) Lost is one of the worst shows in television history. You figured that after a couple seasons they would find a way to get off the island or turn the entire thing into one big orgy cause they knew they were going to die soon. See? That is why I need to work in television.

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Weekend links that are back from the dead

Mo’Nique says it is cool if her husband cheats on her- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

See which four contestants were voted off of American Idol, then laugh- Daily Stab

J.Lo is gonna be on How I Met Your Mother- Geno’s World

Sophie Vergara can save America- IDLYITW

Take a ride on Goldfrapp’s rocket- popbytes

Rumor Willis shared a kiss with Jessica Lowndes- Drunken Stepfather

Daryll Hannah nude in a movie. Trust me. You don’t wanna see this- yeeeah

Jennifer Aniston is good at sitting. Probably good at taking a dump too- IBBB