Archive for March, 2009
Miley Cyrus Is A Home Town Girl
Mar 31st
Miley Cyrus is a spoiled brat that has gotten pretty much everything she has ever wanted in her life. She recently did a press conference, probably because she wanted to, about her new film Hannah Montana: The Movie and she was asked a whole range of questions submitted by people on twitter. My favorite question was, “Ask her why she acts like such a diva when clearly she shouldn’t because she 16!”
She insists she isn’t a diva. In fact she even invited other would-be stars to come out and get in the business. Bullshit. She is totally a diva. What will be funny is when she hits about 19- 20 years of age when her face grows longer and her teeth become even more snaggletoothed and she can’t sell records anymore. What also will be funny is when her boyfriend who is over 18 gets arrested for banging a minor. These things will be funny. These are a few of my favorite things.
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Links that will never grow up
Andre 3000 got popped- IDLYITW
The New York Emmy Awards look horrific- IBBB
Guy Ritchie sure knows how to pick the ugly chicks- Holy Moly
Jennifer Garner is wearing ripped underwear- Drunken Stepfather
Ashley Olsen has a boney ass- I Don’t Want Your Life
Alyssa Milano wrote a book- yeeeah
Shawn Johnson has never been pretty- IDLYITW
Britney Spears almost banged a backup dancer- Celeb News Wire
Alyson Hannigan gave birth to a baby girl. Now she can get back to looking hot again- Allie Is Wired
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Why would this hot chick bang Rod Stewart? – Celebrity Dirty Laundry
I am so over Avril Lavigne. I still wanna put it in her ass though- popbytes
The Real World isn’t going anywhere- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Hayden Panettiere faces reality- Geno’s World
Michalle Obama is not gonna have another kid- notorious news
It’s Not Her Car
Mar 31st
Lindsay Lohan has been seen and photographed on multiple occasions in the past few weeks driving around a $115,000 Maserati. Seeing as she hasn’t worked since last summer, people are questioning how she could afford such a car. Well, she couldn’t. The car does not belong to her. It belongs to porn “king” Dennis DeSantis. I don’t know why they are calling him a porn king because I have never heard of him before and I have never heard of any of his porn films before. Including Origami So Horny and Butt Sluts.
Granted the names of these porns sound kind of funny, and are probably pretty sexy, I don’t see him as being any kind of “king.” Nevertheless, he has enough money to fork over a $100k car to Lohan’s loopy ass. The only question is, why? The only problem is, I don’t care. She has already been in one fender bender and by the time she is through with the car she will have totally destroyed it. I just wish there were some “strings attached” to this car deal. You drive my car, you swallow some cum on film. You borrow the Maserati, you do a gang bang scene in my next flick. Now THAT is a contract. But let’s face it, Lohan is a prude and won’t strip for his cameras. Porn “king” my ass.
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Gisele Bundchen Is Possessive
Mar 30th
Gisele Bundchen or as I will refer to here here as Gissy says that she feels her step son is basically 100% hers. Do further the disrespect, she has never even met the biological mother Bridget Moynahan. She tells Vanity Fair, ” I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child.” Basically she is saying just because the baby didn’t come out of her pussy that it doesn’t mean the kid is not hers.
Some people would ask was John Edward Thomas Moynahan, the son, thinks about all this but right now he is sucking on Bridget’s tits. I am sure if Gissy offered to let him suck on her tits that he would consider a change. She goes on to tell VF, ” I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that is important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine.” Basically Gissy is making a case that she is willing to be a mother and willing to love it 100% as long as she doesn’t have to go through that whole pregnancy thing. I don’t blame her, that shit looks painful.
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Links that have never been pregnant
I love Kim Kardashian boobs- IDLYITW
Kelly Brook has a big ass- Drunken Stepfather
Lindsay Lohan is broke, but still shopping- IBBB
Britney Spears thinks daddy will take her kids away- Holy Moly
Heidi Klum nude on a beach- Celeb News Wire
Dannii Minogue is doing stuff- yeeeah
Britney Spears is a pig- IDLYITW
The Kids Choice Awards happened, was gay- Allie Is Wired
Kristin Cavallari is playing strip…something- I Don’t Want Your Life
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Shauna Sand: hot or trashy? I say hot- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Steve-O is sober enough to talk about DWTS for a few minutes- Geno’s World
Who will star in The Three Stooges: The Movie? – Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Courtney Love has a new single, sort of- popbytes
Michael Vick is writing a book- notorious news
Madonna Is Finalizing Her Kidnapping
Mar 30th
Madonna feels that having only a handful of kids isn’t enough, and much like Nadya Suleman, she wants many more. Madonna is heading to Milawi to finalize her kidnappingadoption of 3 year old Mercy James which other civilians of the area are protesting. This is basically the equivalent of Amy Winehouse coming to America and adopting a toddler and taking him/her back to the U.K. You can see why people are protesting this move.
The rest of this story is filled with big, foreign sounding words like Lilongwe and Blantyre, so I will dumb it down. Madonna is going to some remote village and she is signing papers in a court to take the baby home today. Most “normal” people have to wait like 6 months to get a baby. But I am assuming if you have cash on hand, you can get one just about anywhere in the world. The kid will live with Madonna until she turns 18, and after that she will probably get a little reality show going and become famous for being famous or as some superficial people call it, Hollywood royalty. If things work out the way I want them to work out, then Madonna will not get the kid for the simple fact that she is a single mother but I never get what I want. Maybe the key is to not want it. I don’t want $1 million and a hot super model girlfriend. There we go. Eat that karma.
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