Archive for November, 2006
Jessica Simpson on E-Bay
Nov 30th
An extra on the set of Jessica Simpson’s movie, Employee of the Month, is auctioning off a chewed piece of Jessica’s gum on eBay. No wonder she’s only an extra.
The blonde actress discarded the candy as she was preparing to shoot a kissing scene with her co-star Dane Cook in their movie “Employee of the Month.”
Jessica, 26, gave the gum to an extra on set who rather than throw it away has decided to make a quick buck.
“Jessica was chewing gum when shooting started and asked if we would mind her putting her gum in a napkin on our table.”
“I joked that I would sell it on eBay. She said, ‘Go for it. You might make 99 cents.’”
“Here’s that pale blue gum. It was in her mouth so it has her DNA on it so you can clone her.”
The seller will also provide a letter of authenticity, some gossip from the film and a “head shot to the winning bidder so that they have proof that I am sitting next to Jessica in the movie.”
(source)
This is like the time I lost my glasses once at camp…except it isn’t like that time because I would change glasses to ‘virginity’ and lost to ‘forced myself on the camp counselor’. Not only does this ‘extra’ now have enough germs to classify for level 5 containment, but she clearly lacks what we essentially take for granted…a fucking clue. Everybody knows you have to cut her hair while she gently sleeps off the GHB you slipped in her drink. So peaceful. Soft, soft hair.
Wait, did she say clone Jessica? Social decay, nuclear warfare, George Bush and botox made the list, but I’m pretty sure Jessica Simpson was not in Revelation as a sign of apocalypse. Unless of course she’s the antichrist. Which would be sweet. Bless her heart.
UPDATE: The bidding is up to $127.00. See it here!
Lance is Seeing Stars
Nov 28th
FB’s in NYC rounding up some PYT’s so here’s a top story that doesn’t involve Britney’s raw vagina. Texas hottie Lance Armstrong was observed with actress Estella Warren. Maybe they were swapping recipes? A girl can hope…
It looks like Lance’s latest arm candy is actress Estella Warren. Lance was spotted dining with Estella on Nov. 22 at a West Hollywood cafe, where the two swapped numbers while flirting over coffee and iced tea! As they later headed in separate directions, Estella, 27, whistled and waved at Lance, 35. (source)
Consecutive Tour de France victories, defeating testicular cancer only to finish with a failed marriage, then an endearing relationship with hottie Sheryl Crow and now the prospect of smokin’ hot Estella Warren – Canadian actress, fashion model, synchronized swimmer extraordinaire? You throw in a trip to the vet after finding a wounded bird in a ditch and this guy is in the heart of every American girl. Or her pants. Lance is a sexy, strong, southern lad (I love alliteration!) who is quickly on his way to becoming my next court case. And Estella is fast on her way swimming back to Canada with a broken heart and a souvenir Palmetto flag, courtesy of one danger-hot Carolina girl.
BTW, That’s funny right? See, you can’t swim to Canada. Well, I guess you can, but anyway. where was I? Lance is ‘seeing stars’ cause Estella means star, right…get it…? Like that, huh? Loser.
Cameron Richardson Is Jambalaya Hot.
Nov 27th
Jambalaya! Hang on to your bootstraps; it’s time again for FB&C Sexy Southern Girl of the Week (FBCSSGW). This is Cameron Richardson and she’s a gin-u-wine lass from the bayous of Looziana. She’s also fucking hot. I ran across her when I was searching for my ‘Cajun Queens’ photo spread I shot last winter and according to the infinitely knowledgeable IMDB, she’s an actress who’s been in movies no one gives a shit about except if there were nude scenes. She was also was named #52 on Maxim’s Hot 100 of 2005 list which puts her on this girl’s list automatically. I was ranked #3 on the national list of women who show the goods for two vodka crans, only to be beat out by two biker skanks with money enough to pay off the judges. Fucking politics. Oh, and I’ve taken first place at the Harley Davidson Biker Babe Bash three years running. Eat your heart out, fellas.
Click here for the full spread of NSFW photos of Cameron.
Britney Shows her Vanilla Bean
Nov 26th
..and other scary stories to tell in the dark. In spite of my efforts, I can’t bring myself to give a shit, but it is still my duty to deliver the goods so here’s a view of Britney Spears leaving Hyde nightclub. Seems as though Britney has joined the campaign against skivvies, courtesy of Paris Hilton. BFF! Britney’s two heirs and a sex tape away from a season of Simple Life. I’m a bottle of red wine away from being called into HR for a scolding. I’m a……slaaaave 4 U. [The irony is that the phrase 'Britney Spears upskirts' launched a thousand internet empires and actually put me through college.]
