Fatback Media

Nicole Richie, just months after giving birth to her baby Harlow, has been admitted to Cedars-Sinai hospital for pneumonia. I really wish this chick would stop trying to be mother of the year and actually go out to clubs and have some fun while she is still young. It use to be that she was inseparable from Paris Hilton and partied every Friday night but recently she has been real boring.

Nevertheless I love Nicole Richie and I hope she gets better soon. At least it isn’t the swine flu because that tends to be a little bit more fatal. In the meantime I will toast a glass of jager to the ghost of Nicole Richie past the next time I am at a club. And when I am being treated by the EMT for alcohol poisoning, I will puke up some jager in her spirit too.

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Setting the world’s record for being single the shortest amount of time ever, Avril Lavigne has found a new guy to pound her badge. None other than douche bag extraordinaire Wilmer Valderrama. I hated this dude’s voice and his overall character when he was on that shitty show That 70’s Showand now he annoys me in little bits and pieces by showing up in the tabloids.

I doubt Avril will settle in with him and will probably be back on the market after taking some new dick to the brain for a few weeks. That next hook up will be me in the disguise as a millionaire who thinks he is too good for some pop/punk chick which will make me irresistible to her. After I hit it I will call my boys and let them get sloppy seconds while we wait for the roofies to wear off. Hey man, bros before hos.

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Links that play the field

Carmen Electra might have a sex tape- IDLYITW

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Zac Efron might be banging Pixie Geldof- Holy Moly

Behind closed doors with Tom Cruise- popbytes

Christina Aguilera is an actress now- Amy Grindhouse

Ashley Tisdale is in a bikini- notorious news

The City recap- IBBB

Johnny depp is the sexiest man alive- IDLYITW

Keeley Hazell would rather go nude than wear fur- Fatback Media (NSFW)

It is being reported that two Miss Universe contestants, the contestant for Japan and the contestant for Trinidad and Tobago, are the stars of a newly surfaced three way sex tape. I searched a little bit and tried to find it, but no luck. I will probably have my hands on it by tonight and I can link it here when I am done.

I personally am more excited for the Carrie Prejean sex tape but with two Asian hotties goin’ crazy on some dude’s cock to hold me over, makes me a happy man. Not sure who the guy is, but he should be crowned the luckiest dude alive 2009. I know if I banged two Miss Universe contestants at the same time you would have to physically restrain me from going directly to the press. And in this case, he did the right thing by filming it so he can relive the event again and again and prove to his friends and the world that yes, he did indeed bang two mega hotties from across the world. Once I find the vid I will imagine I am the luckiest guy in the world. Should take about 5-6 minutes. 

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