Fatback Media

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are going all the way for Halloween this week and new they could steal the headlines back from Jon and Kate Gosselin by dressing up as them. I personally think this is a hysterical costume idea and the fact that they are lugging over a dozen baby dolls with them makes the costumes even funnier.

But seriously, they may be peering into their future. They are married and what most people do after they get married is have kids but I guess they are both too big of attention whores to give attention to another small life in this world. However, Heidi has said in the past that not only does she want kids some day but that she actually wants to have multiple kids. If they fuck around and use in vitro fertilization then they may just have sextuplets like Kate Gosselin. Big props to Speidi for this costume idea. It may be topped on Halloween eve but I am giving them the costume of the year so far.

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So this is Heidi Montag in in her *ahem* adult magazine photoshoot.

Two things:

1. I’ve seen more nudity in the Bible
2. I’ve seen less airbrushing on a beaded t-shirt in Myrtle Beach South Carolina

Why do they airbrush the SHIT out of these things? She’s like 24 and has huge tits. She’s all set. It’s not like she’s some aging actress trying to get back some of the glory of the Buffy days (sorry Kristy! Call me!). We don’t need “sexy elegant” here. This magazine sits on the back of the toilet in a frat house, not the desk of the CEO of Bank of America next to Yachting Digest.  I mean how classy can you really be with your tits hanging out in a spank mag photo session? But I digress…

Speaking of naked tits. THERE ARE NONE. It’s the ultimate tease by a girl who will probably make every man in her life put his fist through a wall. I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t give you partial credit. So, enjoy? These will probably be gone within a few hours.

I am a pervert so I am super excited that Heidi Montag is going to take off all of her clothes for Playboy even though she tries to be a good little Christian girl. During the red carpet premiere for the new G.I. Joe Movie, G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, Speidi decided to make an appearance with the September issue of the magazine showing off how dirty Heidi can get.

When I say dirty I mean it in the most literal form because on the cover she is smeared with dirt and mud and has the Playboy bunny carved into her stomach. I am not a huge fan of Heidi or The Hillsbut I don’t mind looking at pretty girls when they are naked and even though I am not a fan I gotta say that this is probably one of the coolest covers in Playboy history. I would love to smear the website with pics I am going to scan when the issue comes out but being sued isn’t all that much fun so you probably won’t see them here. Sorry.

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