Archive for April, 2008
Beyoncé is Pregnant. Maybe.
Apr 30th
The smokin’ hot chicks from Hollyscoop just gave me an exclusive!!! Well, I’m on their mass email list, but I’m pretty sure I’m thiiiiis close to asking one of them out. I have a good feeling. Anyway, turns out newly married Beyoncé is pregnant.
Hollyscoop has learned exclusively through multiple sources that Beyonce is expecting. A source close to the couple revealed, “Beyonce is 100% pregnant, which is why the couple rushed their wedding.” (HollyScoop)
How can you tell when a girl from the south is pregnant? She gets married 2 months later. It’s a long standing tradition that country whores have been doing for generations. My mom was pregnant with me in her junior yearbook photo. Hawt.
‘scuse me while I bang these chicks
Apr 29th
Jimi Hendrix has a sex tape. Which normally would be super creepy because he’s dead now (and more than likely so are the groupie whores who are in the movie), but this is Jimi fucking Hendrix – possibly the best guitar player that ever lived.
“This new movie shows that Jimi Hendrix could have been as great a porn star as he was a rock star. He could clearly play more than just his guitar,” said Vivid co-chairman Steven Hirsch. “It’s easy to see that he turned women on with his music and his passion.” (AVN)
I’m just hoping that it’s got some quality groupie whore fucking and it’s not just a movie of Jimi Hendrix asleep with his cock out while two hippie skanks lick each other’s hairy armpits. You’d be surprised how often porn DVD’s can disappoint. Go here for details.
Dibs! I’m smitten.
Apr 29th
Britney Spears surprised gym goers at a hotel spa in in Marina del Rey in California this week by working out super-hard and really pushing it on those last few sets. Except change the working out part to wheezing uncontrollably and the pushing it part to just walking around in nothing but a towel.
[It] appears the star’s judgement may still be somewhat askew, as after her shower in the spa at a hotel, she wandered out to the gym in just a towel, giving gym-goers an eyeful as she helped herself to some cold water. (Daily Mail)
I’m glad to see she’s back in the gym, and too her credit, I don’t see Cheetoe sand on her anywhere, but the world is not ready for the backfat and canckles Britney. That’s why Wal-Mart invented baggy sweatsuits. So get back in there with all the fat soccer mom’s who’ve disappointed their husbands and the Lord God, put on your sweats and try to at least attempt to look like a 26 year old who has enough money to afford a personal trainer. Guh. Remember when Britney Spears nude spawned internet empires?
Miley Cyrus is Artsy
Apr 28th
I don’t see what the big deal is. So she took some half nude, sexually suggestive photos for a national magazine. She’s an entertainer – and in three or four years she’ll be wearing fishnet shirts with nipple piercings just like God and Disney intended. I believe the children are our future…
UPDATE: Looks like dad is pissed. Even though he was SITTING RIGHT THERE. (NY POST)
