Fatback Media

God. Damn.

Ashlee Simpson’s rack has gone from great to awesome now that she’s eating for two. I figure she has about 3 more weeks of complete hotness before the grossness sets in and we have to write her off till Christmas. I’m not saying that pregnant girls are gross. Wait, yes I am totally saying that.

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Jessica Simpson is reported furious that her sister Ashlee Simpson’s recent engagement to boyfriend Pete Wentz may attract more attention than she’s getting lately.

Not to be upstaged, Jessica is now reportedly betrothed to her football star boyfriend Tony Romo.

TMZ reports that an insider revealed to Star magazine, “Jessica would love nothing more than to get married before Ashlee.

It upsets her that her little sister will be married and she won’t. She gets jealous when Ash gets more attention.”

The latest rumour came about after it was overheard that Jessica’s friends were toasting to her “happiness” late last week at P. Diddy’s Hollywood party. (CMR)

There are so many referring sources there, that I just forgot what this post was about. Oh yeah. jessica Simpson is a jealous, catty bitch. She’s a smokin’ hot jealous catty bitch with DD’s so she can pretty much do whatever she wants. She could become the mayor of any major city in the US just by asking. It’s in the constitution. Oh yeah, she’s also our Southern Hottie of the Day (SHOTD) today.

Erm. Something’s definitely different about Ashlee Simpson. Did she color her hair? New cut? Is that a new shirt? WHAT IS IT?

Ashlee, who got engaged to rocker boyfriend PETE WENTZ last month, has recently been subject of rumours surrounding a possible pregnancy.

But the eye-catching size of her bust pictured above will only increase speculation, as it looks like she’s developed a pair of CHRISTINA AGUILERA-style pregnancy boobs.

Either that or the wiring of her bra is truly immense.

The mystery deepens… (SUN UK)

Also a mystery, is how my super sexy dance moves saved the day when the bullies tried to take over the orphanage. I’m a maniac.

According to Us and Ok!, Ashlee Simpson is pregnant. According to Pete Wentz, the alleged baby daddy, Ashlee Simpson is not pregnant. Pregnancy is like a train; once it’s left the station there’s no turning back. Unless you decide that the train just doesn’t fit into your lifestyle and you crash the shit out of the train and put it in the dumpster outback with a bunch of other unwanted trains and hope that one day you’ll take the train again when the time is right, but for now career and travel are much too important. I am the king of metaphor.

From Us :

Ashlee Simpson is pregnant, a source confirmed to Usmagazine.com.The singer, 23, is expecting her first child with fiancé Pete Wentz, 28.Simpson and the Fall Out Boy bassist announced their engagement Wednesday.”We are thrilled to confirm their engagement and congratulate this happy couple,” a spokesperson for the couple told Us. “Beyond that there is nothing to say.”

MTV says, fuck that noize, beeotch:

In an e-mail to MTV News, Wentz denied reports that surfaced Monday (April 14) on the Web sites of OK! magazine and Us Weekly that he and Simpson, 23, are expecting their first child.

“There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood,” he wrote. “This is all news to me. I can’t wait for the story about how I’m really in a gay relationship and this is all just a cover. … I mean really, this is crazy. … I mean we’re engaged, that’s true, and happy about it.”

So if I’m reading this right, Pete Wentz is trying to get out of responsibility for a child he fathered by being gay. Well played, Pete. Well played. Down south we hand;e that situation differently. You either move to the next county or give the girl a Scarlett O’Hara. More Ashlee when she was hot. Fiddledeedee.

Pete Wentz is now dead to me. It’s not like we ever spoke (except for the voices in my head), but still. Proposing to Ashlee Simpson was the last straw. I guess I should suck it up and say congratulations to the happy couple . . . may your life together be filled with enough eyeliner and flat irons for the two of you to share, tragedy enough for Pete to continue to write depressing lyrics, and enough money so that Ashlee spares us from ever hearing her singing voice again. As for me, as I seek out a new crush, I’m setting my sights higher. Literally. Like on someone who is taller than 5′4″.

I like using terms like preggers and dunzo! because it makes me sound like Perez Hilton. And well, he’s awesome. We’re practically BFF’s, yo. We sit around and color each other’s hair and eat empanadas and laugh. I know what your thinking. Empanadas is racist because Perez Hilton is Hispanic. Well its not. I like empanadas like any other red blooded American WASP. My housekeeper Consuela makes them for me all time. She’s really taking a liking to me since my mom had her son deported for not wearing a shirt when he pulled the weeds out of the garden.

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