Kelly Brook Needs Spongebath
Feb 24th
Does anyone have a moist towelette?
Man, if there’s one thing I love it’s naked women. Especially naked British women with huge natural boobs and a landing stripped vajajay. So, can anyone tell me WTF happened here? I mean, I still have a boner, but I have an urge to sniff Pine-Sol and that makes me confused. Fucking photographers. Leave to an “artist” to fuck up and spank-bankable naked women in a photoshoot. This kind of reminds me of that time your mom went crazy got naked and tried to kill me. Except that was my mom. Ok, boner is officially gone. I need a tissue.
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- Does any one have a moist towelette?
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- Do I have something on my face?
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- Did you eat the God damn lipstick?
Pauley Perrette Looks Criminally Hot
Feb 24th
I will literally eat your heart out.
You might be asking yourself, ‘why is Pauley Perette the only Grammys coverage on this site? You might also ask yourself, ‘where is my beautiful wife?’ Well, the answer is that Pauley Perrette is a genetic anomaly (she’s 41 and hotter than molten black candle wax) and your wife has been at my house for a few days experimenting with multiple partners. Same as it ever was. Here’s Pauley looking like she could just eat the still beating heart right out of your chest cavity. So how was her character on NCIS in the Navy again? “My God, What have I done?”
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- Like my tattoo? I like your blood.
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- I will literally eat your heart out.
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- Who wants a Po’Boy?
Oktoberfest Linkz
Sep 28th
Haben sie boobies?
There’s nothing better than Oktoberfest. Boobies, beer and barfing. Hayden Panetierre almost has the look pulled off except for the hat. I don’t know whether she wants to serve me a beer or steal my pouch of gold for the poor. Link my sausage fraulein:
- Um, there’s a hot dude on IDLYITW. So confused right now (IDLYITW)
- The dude (more dudes?) from Dawson Creek is a daddy. At least that he knows of (SeriouslyOMG)
- Hot chicks, old dicks. I love college! (Bro Bible)
- Lindsay Lohan Shoots heroin. NO SHIT. (Drunkenstepfather)
- Lohan nips (Amy Grindhouse)
Oh, Cindy Lou Who Did Your Makeup?
Sep 23rd
Is this too much mascara?
See what I did there? You know, because she played Cindy Lou Who in the Grinch (like what, last fucking year?). *checks Wikipedia. Okay, Phew! She’s 17 so I won’t get Dateline at my door for dismissively wanking to Taylor Momsen’s failed attempt at irony. I’ve seen fake-glasses-wearing hipsters in panda hats with 8-track players on their messenger bikes who are less ironic than this. We get it. You don’t want to be labeled as a ‘cute little girl’. The cleavage and giant rack do that all by themselves. Is it too much to ask for you not to leave the house looking like the hamburgler? If I picked you up for a date I wouldn’t whether to open the door for you or give you my keys and run an’ tell dat. Here’s more of Taylor Momsen at Macy’s being totally bored with the whole fashion thing. *makes devil horns with hand and sticks out toungue.
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- Show us where the Grinch touched you
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- Nothing inappropriate about this. Nope.
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- Is this too much mascara?
