Archive for January, 2009
Ashton Kutcher Is A Whiney Little Girl
Jan 30th
Ashton Kutcher is kind of a bizarre person. He has step children only a few years younger than him, and it seems to me that he had an opportunity to date and marry just about any girl in Hollywood and he decided to marry the ancient Demi Moore. Recently his neighbor started some construction on his house and Ashton has been flipping out over it since the construction began. Mostly because the construction is starting at 7 a.m. He is kind of a hypocrite because the house he lives in now was built over a 10 year period.
So this dude has been flipping his lid calling the construction workers and his neighbor names like “dickweed, jackass and owl feces cougar placenta.” What the fuck? Dickweed and jackass sounds like classic Ashton but owl feces cougar placenta? Anyway, the neighbor, Goldsmith, is defending the construction saying that it is legal in L.A. to start construction at 7 a.m. Ashton is just gonna have to buck up and take it like a man. That or call Bruce Willis who I am sure fights all of Ashton’s fights for him. With all this bitching and whining from Ashton I am surprised he didn’t call his neighbor “poopy pants” or “cootie face.” That would have gotten under his skin. Here are some pictures of Ashton smoking because he is cool like that.
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Links that settle things with their fists
Lauren Conrad has a nice ass- Drunken Stepfather
Robbie Wiliams is still alive- Holy Moly
John Mayer moves on from Jennifer Aniston- Celeb News Wire
Jimmy Kimmel is working his way up the corporate ladder- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Robert Pattinson is a dirty bum- Allie Is Wired
A Paris Hilton upskirt- yeeeah
David Beckham is a playa- popbytes
Ranae Shrider wants to be in Playboy- Geno’s World
Amanda Bynes has got legs- I Don’t Want Your Life
Pete Wentz weighs in on Jessica Simpson’s weight- notorious news
Amy Winehouse Got Robbed
Jan 30th
On Thursdseay morning at 4 a.m. the London police were called to Amy Winehouse’s apartment. She was not there. She was still in the caribbean where she is roaming around topless making people sick to their stomach around the world. According to People the only things that were taken can all be replaced including 2 guitars and a few pieces of recording equipment. Usually when a celebrity gets robbed I get all giddy and think about all the hot nude pics and possible sex tape that might hit the internet. This time not so much.
I am sure Amy won’t have a problem replacing what was stolen since she is saving money in the caribbean by stealing drinks instead of paying for them, and apparently she has given up crack so she has a huge amount of money in her budget that she doesn’t quite know how to spend yet. It kind of surprised me that she actually still has musical equipment in her place, I figured that would have been pawned a long time ago for drug money. I am sure even an event like this would not bring her back to London. She will stay in the caribbean on “vacation” a.k.a. rehab and only come back when she has rid herself from all poisons. Then she will…she will… what does she do again? Oh yea, she makes music. I have yet to hear an Amy Winehouse song but I will take the paparazzi’s word for it.
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Kelly Clarkson= Better Than Britney Spears
Jan 29th
Kelly Clarkson has a new cd out. And with that a new song, and it kicks major ass. So much ass in fact, that her new single jumped from No.97 to No.1 within a week. That is a record breaking jump in the 50 year history of the Billboard charts. Formerly the record setting jump was Britney Spears Womanizer that went from No.96 to No.1. Oh snap! One spot! Suck on that Britney you fat bitch! OK I need to calm down. The song in question is My Life Would Suck Without You. Check it out on iTunes, it’s a killer track.
I just find VERY amusing that the so-called queen of pop can be outdone by an American Idol winner. Britney will probably say good job and congratulate Kelly in person but you know behind the scenes she is banging her head against the wall. Of course Britney would probably be banging her head against the wall regardless, but now she has a reason.
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Links that are No.1 every day
Paris Hilton nipple pokies! – Drunken Stepfather
Jennifer Aniston turns down $4 million from Playboy- Allie Is Wired
Jessica Simpson tries to chalk up weight gain as PR stunt- yeeeah
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Will YOU buy Tropic Thunder on dvd? – Holy Moly
Mickey Rourke is not a real wrestler- d-listed
Kim Kardashian takes Jessica Simpson’s side- Geno’s World
Jessica Alba has a tramp stamp- Celeb News Wire
Victoria Beckham has a nice car- I Don’t Want Your Life
Amy Winehouse is still topless- notorious news
Lauren Conrad Is Outta Here
Jan 29th
It seems to me that all the dunces in Hollywood don’t know a good thing when they see it. Lauren Conrad famous for starring on MTV’s The Hills is now going against everything she stands for and is moving away. Albeit not far away, just to L.A. She feels that her safety is in jeopardy and she wants to live in an apartment building that has a door man. Apparently there are no apartment buildings in Hollywood. Moron. Why would anyonewant to go from a beautiful house in Hollywood and move into some complex in L.A. ?
The answer is simple. Drugs. Lauren Conrad is using drugs. That is why she wants to put away a little extra scratch each month. Of course all the paparazzi find it incredibly easy to snap a few shots of Lauren Conrad on a daily basis while she lives in Hollywood, so you can basically kiss the paparazzi snow storm good bye. And I guess MTV will have to change the name of The Hills to Smog Cityor some shit. What is even weirder is that a number of her friends are going with her. Not Heidi Montag of course, that little whore will stay in Tinseltown. We will miss you Lauren. Drop us a line every now and then. Or a nipple slip. Yea, a nipple slip would be better.
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