Archive for September, 2008
The Girls Next Door Are Not Amused
Sep 25th
Wow, Hef and his Girls Next Door look so happy together at the Fox Reality Channel’s Really Awards last night! It’s great when arranged relationships just really do work out, huh? Okay, enough sarcasm. Holly Madison is faking the same tight-lipped smile as Hef, Bridgette Marquardt is somewhere between a smirk and a smile, and Kendra Wilkinson is simply not amused. Damn! Can someone connected please tell Hef that I’d smile in a picture with him any day (hint-hint)? By the way, this is Lennox Miller from SupernaturalBlond.com guest-posting, and not Fatback. I mean he does also fantasize about being a Girl Next Door, but he’d never write about that here. Ooops!
Jessica Simpson’s Porn Face
Sep 22nd
If Jessica Simpson’s country music career fails her, I think she’d be highly successful in porn. The expressions she makes while singing are damn priceless. Sometimes she looks like she’s in pain, sometimes in ecstasy, and sometimes a delightful mixture of both . . . well, delightful for pervs, that is. From the looks of her face while performing at the L.A. County Fair this weekend, I’m certain she’d sweep the 2010 AVNs!
(P.S. This is Lennox Miller guest-posting for Fatback while he’s doing his top secret Mafia mission in Italy. If you like what you’re reading, come check out my blog at SupernaturalBlond.com where it’s gossip about hot girls by a hot girl. That would be me. Oh yeah!)
What’s Different About Mila Kunis?
Sep 19th
Hm. What happened this summer? This is Mila Kunis on the set of her new movie Extract. I didn’t go to film school but this is already shaping up to be the best movie ever made. It’s got action, three dimensional character arcs, excellent cinematography and lighting, and probably a good soundtrack. How can I tell that from just a picture? Well technically I can’t, Fellini, so why don’t take your stupid striped shit and beret and go shoot a boring black-and-white scene with no dialogue and under-expose it to make it look artsy. Besides, staring down Mila Kunis’ shirt is going to warm the hearts of millions prove that: IN A WORLD where you’ve given up on finding love, you may find that it was there all along – standing right beside you when you needed it most. [Cue the best friends become lovers montage].
Better than Chicken Livers and Cholula
Sep 18th
Hey Look! The “better than…” linkposts are back. You remember those, right? That’s where I would do my link post of all my sexy blogger friends, but I would say that their links were better than [insert delicious southern food item]. Yeah. I know, right? Fucking. Witty.
Anyway. I’m going on a short vacation to Europe to take care of some embassy and foreign relations kinda stuff. Mostly hush-hush. So I’ve got some guest writers sitting in for bit while I’m off infiltrating enemy security attending embassy parties, dancing with Ambassador’s daughters and drinking pink gins out of cut glass tumblers. So enjoy the guest posts while I’m gone, baby. If you don’t hear from me within 2 weeks, then we’re going box 4 protocol and I’ll see you at the safe house.
Also, who is Aubrey O’Day? She doesn’t look Irish.
