Posts tagged Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson Doesn’t Brush Her Teeth
Mar 12th
Jessica Simpson sat down with iheartradio yesterday and during their interview she told them that she doesn’t brush her teeth. I have no idea why she was at iheartradio because she doesn’t really make music anymore, at least not good music, so she has no business talking to djs.
She also said that she doesn’t have a very good diet cause she is from Texas and everything was about fried food down there. However, there are chicks that are from Texas that know how to eat right and don’t weigh 200 lbs. Yes. I am looking in your direction Jessica. With those tits and those meaty arms, I wouldn’t doubt for a sec that this bitch hasn’t tipped over two bills. The tit part can stay though.
Jessica Simpson Is “Crazy” In Bed
Feb 10th
John Mayer was interviewed for this month’s issue of Playboy and he dished on his sex life with Jessica Simpson. I would imagine that all he had to say was how great the sex was and guess what? I was right! He says, “If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.’”
THAT sounds like good sex. He did hold back and not talk about his sex life with Jennifer Aniston because let’s be real, no one gives a shit about some 41-year-old chick getting laid. He also says he doesn’t like it when the media paints him as a douche bag who dates all these mega hotties so he is going to not date in 2010 and see if he still makes Us Weekly headlines. Fuck them you will make ‘em here. In case you didn’t know, I am a big John Mayer fan. Then again I would be a big fan of just about any guy who taps Jessica Simpson’s ass like it was a beer keg.
Jessica Simpson Has Gas
Jan 28th
Jessica Simpson is seriously one of the grossest humans being on the face of this earth. If she kept her mouth, and ass, shut then I could totally fuck her but she will probably never have sex with me so I will continue to bash her. During a business meeting for her new denim line she let out a vicious fart which prompted her mother who was also present to scream out “Jessica!”
She talks about farting all the time and even went on the view to discuss her dogs dingleberries with the whole world watching. What she fails to realize is that men like to pretend women do not poop or fart. If a woman wants to fart, she needs to dig a whole approximately 10 feet deep, bury herself in the whole and even then try her best to make the fart as least smelly as possible. Also, women shouldn’t poop. When a girl is born and the doctor cries out “it’s a girl!” then the doctor should immediately stitch the asshole shut.
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Jessica Simpson is Bitchy
Nov 3rd
Jessica Simpson is one of those celebrities on Twitter that I do not follow because usually they don’t have anything worth reading to say and will never respond to you. Not sure how many followers she has but it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, she took to her Twitter to bitch about Melrose Place calling it crap.
What she Twittered was, “CW catching up on MP. Who writes this crap? i have had bad scripts to work with, but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press.” What I find funny about this little Twitter tantrum is that Jessica Simpson has come across some bad scripts but she always says yes. I agree with her about Ashlee being amazing though. Not as an actress but as a cool wife who tolerates her husband going out and partying with strippers while she stays at home with the baby. Oh yea and her tits. I would agree that I think Ashlee Simpson’s tits are amazing.
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Links that outgrew television
Rihanna is ready to talk- IDLYITW
The View discusses Taylor Swift’s nazism- Geno’s World
Lady GaGa might be dressing like this for attention- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Shaun Sand exclusive clips- Drunken Stepfather
Kim Kardashian is Snow White- yeeeah
People hate Kate Gosselin- notorious news
Jewel is in a bikini- IDLYITW
Arkasha Ames is nude for Playboy- Fatback Media (NSFW)
