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I have mixed feelings aobut Ellen DeGeneres replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol. I mean I think they are both cute but sometimes I find myself wrestling with the idea of which one I would rather fuck. I guess Elle. Cause she would hate it. But usually when my penis can not make a decision it just goes back to what it has always known. Miranda Kerr.

Sources close to Paula Abdul say she was “stunned” and “shocked” that they had already found a replacement for her on AI.Also, in case you were wondering no they did not tell everyone at fox who was going to be the replacement in fear of it leaking to the public. Instead Ellen DeGeneres got to do herself the honors of announcing her judgeship on her daytime television show. I am sure since the announcement was made Paula did an Olympic dive into a pile of prescription medications and booze. She will get over it though. Well maybe not but at least she’ll be good and blitzed so she doesn’t have to feel embarrassed.

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Now it is official. Paula Abdul is leaving American Idol. And in some small way, she will be missed. Her standing up and dancing to songs no matter how terrible they sounded will forever be burned into my memory. At the end of the day it comes down to dollars and cents. She was asking for $20 million a year for her to stay on the show and the Idol producers were only offering a 30% raise. Apparently this chick only made $2 million a year all the way back from the beginning.

I also know that Paula has had some alcohol problems in the past and I loved tuning in to see if she had some booze in her system both during the audition phase and during the actual contest stage. Simon Cowell inked a deal worth $145 million a year and Ryan Seacrest inked a $40 million 3 year deal with the show. I personally think that the Idol producers were thinking about giving her the boot when they hired Kara DioGuardi but Paula and her reps are insisting that she made the choice to leave all on her own.

Paula took things to her Twitter account saying, ” With sadness in my heart, I’ve decided not to return to Idol. I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day one become an international phenomenon.” I wouldn’t go all the way to say that she helped the show in any way but I guess that is a delusion of grandeur. So long Paula! Have a drink on me! See you… never anywhere again.

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A lot of people are talking about how Simon Cowell is making serious bank being a judge on American Idol. Let’s face it. People tune in to see him. He is the cruelest judge and therefore the most entertaining. He is now making and estimated $145 mil for his time on Idol. Of course I am not sure how many season that includes. And now it is being reported that Ryan Seacrest signed a 3 year deal for a handsome $45 mil.

Paula however, is left out in the cold. She tells even the shittiest singers that they were great and that she loves them and that is not necessarily what viewers want to see. Kara DioGuardi was a little bit rougher on the contestants so if Paula walks she is TOTALLY replaceable. Paula at the end of the day is pissed that she is getting paid a measly $2-3 mil a year when the host, not even a judge, is making more than triple that. Filming for the next season starts Aug.6 so she has little time to hammer out a new contract. TMZ is speculating that she will ask for something around $4.5 mil a year. Does she deserve it? Speak up in our comments section.

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