NSFW – Fatback Media

Jolene Blalock is hotter than a phaser set to stun. And she’s stunning the shit out of me with those nipples. I love art. And these nearly nude photos of a dripping wet Jolene Blalock are black and white which means they officially art. Which means your boss can’t fire you for looking at them at work. Unless your pants are around your ankles.

Doutzen Kroes is exactly what I like in a supermodel. She’s young, unbelievably beautiful and that’s about that. I’m not very picky with my supermodels of course, they just need to be nude a lot and have a healthy appetite for cigarettes and coke – and lots of fuckin’. That may sound sexist and chauvinistic to you but, well actually it is, you judgmental whore. Now get back in the kitchen and cook me a turkey pot pie.

This is Sophie Howard and her topless friend hanging out at the beach, topless. With no shirts. This is what Page 3 girls do in their spare time. They just hang out and wait for the next nude photoshoot with their naked best friends. And really,a naked friend with giant tits is the best friend of all. It’s in the bible.

Perfect in every way right down to her funny eastern European accent, Zita Gorog really makes me glad for Glasnost and the end of the cold war. Here’s Zita Gorog -who played the Vampire Amelia in Underworld and Underworld Evolutions – and her perfect breasts and some of the best underwear I’ve ever seen.