Archive for September, 2007
Bones Are Not Hot, Angelina
Sep 30th
I know that Angelina Jolie went on Skeleton Alert like six months ago, but I mean, really now! Angelina is actually someone I never expected to go the way of anorexia because she always seemed too cool to be mainstream, and as we all know, every troubled starlet in Hollywood hops on the anorexic train. I expected more out of her.
But I’m pretty sure the question of whether Angelina has implants has been answered by this latest photo of her all gaunt but somehow sporting round breasts. I guess her weight loss has indeed been good for something.
Now enjoy the pics below back from when Angelina looked like the kind of girl Miss Lennox would gladly jump the fence for . . .
Heidi Montag Needs to Stop
Sep 28th
This is probably the fifty billionth set of pathetically staged pictures that The Hills “star” Heidi Montag has paid somebody to take of her recently. Pictures that she apparently thinks will one day make her famous. I really don’t know how to break this to her, but no, no they won’t. She’s kinda fugly. It won’t help her self-esteem to know that I could walk through the campus of UNCW for ten minutes and, at worst, find 100 chicks hotter than her. I wonder how she…whoa, what? Well, of course I’d still fuck her. She sorta reminds me of your sister. She was a freak.
Rehab Looks Really Hard
Sep 28th
Man, it’s a good thing Lindsay Lohan decided to stay in rehab. That was really brave considering these pictures. From what I can tell, her treatment programs are pretty tough. When asked about Lindsay’s health, officials at Cirque Lodge were quoted as saying, “It’s a process. Her cuticles still need a lot of work.”
Natalie Portman is Naked. Whatever.
Sep 27th
Miss Lennox has never understood the attraction to Natalie Portman. She’s cute at best. And, since her pixie hair cut, I am unable to see how men find anything sexy about her. I prefer that woman be built curvy and have longer hair. In these screen captures from her upcoming film “Hotel Chevalier,” Natalie looks like she needs to go eat a steak and get some hair extensions. And what’s up with the damn socks and tennis shoes she’s wearing in this scene? Are we supposed to find that sexy as contrasted against her nudity? It’s dorky. Not sexy. At all.
Natalie’s nakedness fails to excite me. But, maybe you like androgynous girls, and these pics will excite you . . . hell, I know there are a bunch of Fatback and Collards pervs out there, some of you who harbor fantasies of 13 year old-boys who wear socks and tennis shoes whilst otherwise naked. To you, I say enjoy!
