Fatback Media

This is Audrina Patridge trying on bikinis. [I thought that you weren't allowed to do that because your junk touches the fabric? Note to self: NEVER try on bikini before washing]. And why wouldn’t Audrina Partridge buy a new bikini? She’s a hot chick with big tits and that’s pretty much all she does for the world. Of all the vapid bitches on the completely scripted and made-up show, The Hills, Audrina Patridge is the least unlikable. She’s got great tits and she likes to get her picture taken in bikinis (and naked) which makes her a hero in 42 countries and three island nations. What she doesn’t do is try to sell clothes, or merchandise, or endorsements or be smart. Which is why I’m pretty sure that I’m going to marry her for a while.

Maybe it’s the holidays, or maybe I’m getting a little drunk this morning, but Britney’s rack is making me tingle. I know I’ve ripped her in the past, but the way she looks now, I would tear that shit up like a raccoon in a metal trashcan. There’s just something that’s white hot about a ragged out former teen beauty queen with two kids and a loser ex-husband, but then again I was born in trailer park.The thing that really puts the frosting on my Red Velvet is that she’s on lockdown from her kids. No strings, baby. I gotta let my Freebird Fly.

This is Lake Bell in LA at the Women’s Health “Go Green For Good” where she and Chelsea Handler hosted an “eco-chic soiree” and talked about other made-up words that marketers come up with to get money from rich people.

Women’s Health magazine Editorial Director David Zinczenko, and Vice President/Publisher, Mary Murcko, alongside the Environmental Media Association (EMA) announced today that their year-long Generation Environment (gen e) events series will continue with an eco-chic soiree “GREEN FOR GOOD.” Hosted by actress Lake Bell (What Happens In Vegas, Over Her Dead Body) and comedian Chelsea Handler (Chelsea Lately), the green-themed gathering will raise awareness about the environment among influential consumers, young Hollywood trendsetters and the Women’s Health magazine and online audience. The soiree, hosted in conjunction with presenting sponsor Aveda and PŪR Water Filtration Systems – two amazingcompanies that are helping to lead the charge in environmental responsibility – Aveda and PUR [took] place on October 23, 2008 at the Sunset Tower Hotel in Los Angeles. (Womens Health)

Lake Bell is like six feet tall and is wearing fucking culottes, but I still want to tackle her and wrestle the shit out of her. Not in a misogynistic kind of way – in a Clash of Titans kind of way.

Hey remember when I posted pictures of Lake Bell naked? Me too!