Fatback Media

The word around the rumor mill is that Amy Winehouse is in the hospital yet again. What is surprising though is that she is not in there for drugs. She is there for a chest and lung infection. Which is probably because of drugs. What is funny is that Amy Winhouse’s Dad said Amy Wino’s lungs are “all gunked up” from cigarettes and crack cocaine. So he knows she is abusing drugs but just views it as an inconvenience that “gunks up your lungs.”I am still not sure when she is getting out of the hospital but it is expected for her to be released with a couple of days.

So don’t worry people. Your favorite train wreck will be released from the hospital soon enough to be seen on the streets under the influence of crack and showing off her latest facial scabs and scars for the paparazzi. When Chris Goodman her rep was asked about Wino’s condition, all he had to say was “she’s fine.” What a job that would be. A spokesman for Wino and having to convince people on a daily basis that your client “was fine.” Sad sad.

Source

Do you remember when Lindsay Lohan took 3 guys for a joyride in 2007? Well they are suing now. Most people remember the incident because Lohan ended up stopping at the Santa Monica Police Station and getting arrested for DUI. This of course wasn’t the first time Lohan got arrested for DUI. Sheactually got popped for the same crime less than 90 days before.

The 3 guys who say they were “held hostage” claimed Lohan sped through red lights andwas visibly intoxicated during the incident. When the dudes pleaded with Lohan to get her to stop Lohan simply stated, “she was a celebrity…she could do whatevershe wants.” As a result of the night Lohan later plead guilty to being under theinfluence of cocain and having a blood alcohol level of .08 or higher. As if thischick needed any more drama than what is already in her life right now.

First we heard that she was going to propose to Samantha Ronson then we hear she is breaking ties to the gay community to go on a date with Chace Crawford. Reguardless of what happens when the guys have their day in court, I doubt Lohan will have any cash to dish out if the court finds her liable. I mean is the Bobbymoney still comin’ in? Really? I think she learned her lesson when she spent a day in jail. Or 16 hours or whatever it was. Did you know they don’t even allow Black-berries in jail? BLACKBERRIES!

Here is a picture of Lindsay Lohan on the set of Ugly Betty

Source

That’s it. I’m done. Congratulations, Lindsay, you’ve beaten me. I used to think that I possessed a biting wit and a funny take on celebrities’ misfortunes that would endear me to the masses, but you’ve taken that away from me. You’ve worn me down, and I’m waving the tattered white flag of surrender. First you get a DUI on Memorial Day weekend, then you enter rehab. OK, I’ll cut you some slack on account of your admitting that you’re a complete alcoholic (whereas I’m only halfway, i.e. I don’t have to go to rehab just yet). Then you celebrate your 21st birthday, sober and with your mom. I celebrated mine at a Bacchanalian Italian feast before gallivanting across Southern Europe for the next 3 months, but once again, I was willing to take it easy on you. Then you go out and drag race across LA last night, drunk on appletinis (or were they cosmos?) with some blow in your pocket, to boot. At this point, you have entered an area of celebrity culture that used to be reserved for Mike Tyson, Anna Nicole, and Michael Jackson. You’re so goddamned crazy that you’ve taken the fun out of it for the rest of us.

Lindsay Lohan was arrested for drunk driving in Santa Monica early this morning — her second bust in less than three months.

According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept., 21-year-old Lohan was nailed around 2:15 AM near Pico Boulevard and Main Street early Tuesday morning. (source)

So congratulations, Lindsay. I am a broken man. Here’s to your last few months on earth, because you’re no doubt only a few months away from launching your Benz off of the Santa Monica Pier on the way to screw some B-level male celebrity. Rest assured that I’ll pour out a wine cooler for you when the day comes. Here’s Lindsay in happier times.