Posts tagged Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan Found A New Drug
Jun 1st
Lindsay Lohan has been wearing a SCRAM bracelet for about a week or so now and she had to go through the agonizing pain all alcoholics do and attend Memorial Day bbqs and whatnot and watch people get hammered and there isn’t shit for her to do about it.
Of course Lindsay is too good to go to a scummy bbq so she went to some parties instead and instead of getting wasted she drank can after can of red bull. I like red bull but if you drink too many cans of it, not only will you wanna jump out of your skin with energy but you will wanna puke up whatever is in your stomach cause you start shaking so badly.
Of course I have something that is known to give women energy for hours and has been known to cure cancer. I won’t say what it is but it  come from my body from an organ that rhymes with fleenis. Just sayin’.
LiLo Must SCRAM
May 24th
The pic above is of Lindsay Lohan a couple of months back when she was supposed to be “sober” under a judges ruling. Well, LiLo the party is over. The judge in the Lindsay Lohan case said that within 24 hours she has to wear a SCRAM bracelet on her ankle, similar to what Paris  Hilton wore and she can not consume alcohol while she is on probation.
Also, the drugs are out too. Lindsay tried making the case that she has to go to Texas to shoot a movie but the judge basically said fuck that and told her she can not leave the L.A. area. Did I mention the random drug tests? LOL. That too.
It kinda sucks that Lindsay would have to be told by a judge to stay sober in order to get her shit together but that is what had to happen. any violation of her probation will land her in jail for 180 days so I am totally hoping this bitch slips up and does a few lines in a club bathroom so I can see her miserable ass rot. Everyone knows that I love LiLo and wanna see her get better but I think jail is the only way that is gonna happen. Peace out LiLo.
Bitch Fight!
May 11th
It is being reported that Lindsay Lohan’s watering hole has been infiltrated by punk rocker wannabe Avril Lavigne. I love Avril 18 million times more than I like Lindsay so I am totally team Avril. They got into it at The Chateau Marmont where Avril told LiLo she was fake and that she didn’t like fake people.
Lindsay then turned and tried to get Avril kicked out but she had no luck. I think it is hysterical that even the most fake and superficial people in Hollywood look down on Lindsay. At this point Lindsay is about as real as a $100 bill with Santa Claus’ face on it. Yea it is cute, but in the real world she is fake as fuck.
Photos via
Michael Lohan Lawyers Up
May 10th
Michael Lohan has taken the next step in order to get his kid, Lindsay, sober. He hired lawyer Lisa Bloom and wrote a letter to the judge in the Lindsay Lohan DUI probation case. She is looking at facing serious jail time if convicted but Michael, along with a lot of other people, would rather see Lindsay go to rehab instead of jail.
If she doesn’t go to rehab, Michael wantys the next best thing and that is have the court issue frequent and random drug and alcohol tests. I am sick and tired of all these die hard LiLo fans telling Michael Lohan to leave his daughter alone cause I really do like Lindsay Lohan and I would like to see her alive at least for the near future. Oh yea, and this bitch is gonna play a porn star someday soon. As long as she shows off her caboose I am happy.
Photos via
