Archive for April, 2009
A-Rod Had Bitch Tits
Apr 30th
A-Rod is just another athlete that cheated his way into the big leagues. It has been known for months now that he was using steroids when he played for the Rangers, but we didn’t know until now that he came down with a condition known as gynecomastia which basically causes men to grow tits. I wonder what size bra he was wearing. I love tits but on a guy it would just feel weird.
I am sure because of this he would be moved to tears when he watched Fight Cluband saw Meatloaf’s character who had some pretty big knockers himself. Of course all of his team mates found the condition hysterical giving him the nickname “Bitch Tits.” Ironically at Hooters, which usually celebrates a big bust, hated A-Rod because he would only tip 15%. What a cheap skate. Doesn’t he know those girls are easy and you can usually get a BJ in the bathroom if you tip a good 30%?
Links that wear a 36 D
Jailbait holiday- IDLYITW
Amputee fighter- Drunken Stepfather
Adam Lambert was in the bottom 3. Hahahahaha! – Allie Is Wired
American Idol recap- IBBB
Kelly McGillis is a lesbian- Celeb News Wire
Madonnahas pretty much zero chance of adopting that baby from Malawi, or Zimbabwe or where ever the fuck that kid is- yeeeah
Miss California continues to gay-bash- IDLYITW
Sasha Grey s going mainstream- Amy Grindhouse
Britain thinks that dressing up like an old person is sexy- Holy Moly
Ashley Tisdale is cute on the red carpet- I Don’t Want Your Life
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
The honeymoon is over for Speidi- popbytes
Scarlett Johansson’s breasts win! – Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Lacey Chabert is sexy- Geno’s World
The American Idol mansion is haunted- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
LiLo has found an older man- notorious news
Paula Abdul Was Fooled
Apr 30th
Paula Abdul is pretty famous but she is definitely not famous for being smart. A drunken judge and a total snob yes, smart,no. So it is not surprising to hear that she was fooled by Sacha Baron Cohen during the filming of his new comedy Bruno. There is no word on what words were actually exchanged between to two celebrities, but I am willing to bet my left nut that it was funny as hell.
One prediction about the interview, Paula made gay people looks like demons and Bruno busted out a dildo sometime during the conversation. Not that Paula needed anymore of those. She already has an epic collection. Even one that she carries with her that doubles as a whiskey flask.
Chris Brown Might Get Off
Apr 29th
Chris Brown is as guilty as the sky is blue, but since the cops suck at concealing evidence he may walk. Most people, especially readers of this site have seen the pictures of Rihanna beaten and bloody. But the pictures were obtained through a leak, and that is what give Chris Brown’s attorney, Mark Geragos, the ammunition to get the entire case dismissed.
Geragos says in his own words, “The leaks can form the basis for a motion to dismiss the case in regards to outrageous governmental misconduct.” That sounds like a bunch of lawyer mumbo jumbo to me. What happened to the law you beat the shit out of a helpless girl and deserve to have your ass molested in prison for the next several years. Yea, yea I like the second option better.
Links that learned at a very young age to keep their hands to themselves
Horseface and pussypants are expecting twins- IDLYITW
Speidi are healthy- Allie Is Wired
Harriet Carter Wednesday- IBBB
Octomom can’t even get a dog- Amy Grindhouse
Sean Penn is getting a divorce- Celeb News Wire
Heidi Montag might pose in Playboy- yeeeah
Diora Baird in FHM- IDLYITW
Jennifer Love Hewitt got her figure back- I Don’t Want Your Life
Naomi Campbell is retiring- Holy Moly
Lindsay Lohan is still rocking the bikini- Drunken Stepfather
Jennifer Aniston is adopting! Yea, I’ll beleive that when I see her titties getting sucked- popbytes
Halle Berry looks better. – Celebrity Dirty Laundry
I Want To Work For Diddy 2 is casting- Geno’s World
Jewel is still famous? – Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Mel Gibson has landed a hot new piece of ass- notorious news
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Jon Gosselin Is A Cheater
Apr 29th
If you are a bored guy in their mid 20′s who wonders why they don’t have any kids and try to supplement that loneliness by watching Jon And Kate Plus 8 then turn away. OK so all that shit I just said about myself isn’t true but I do like the show. I have a feeling that that show will not be around for much longer, especially if Jon and Kate get a divorce.
Jon Gosselin was photographed leaving a club with a mystery woman saying, “Hey,babe! Babe! Give me my jacket!” Babe huh? I would say good for him, since Kate isn’t exactly the most attractive person on television, but the girl he was photographed with wasn’t all that hot either. Ill be blunt, she was fugly. The photograph above was taken not too long ago when he was photographed another club and trying to scheme on some college chicks. I say why not? If I had nothing to look forward to when I came home but a bitchy wife and 8 screaming kids, I would be out trying to have some fun as well.
