Fatback Media

This is country beauty Carrie Underwood in a bikini at a beach. Things are slow so that means it’s time for Southern Hottie of The Day (SHOTD) here at Fatback Media. Some people have complained that this site has devolved into nothing but chicks in bikinis and fluff. Well sir, if God didn’t want half naked chicks on the internet then why did he invent the Porn Premium Gold Pass? Plus, all the girls are fully naked in our  NSFW section. So you really have the best of both worlds. Hot chicks with clothes, or hot chicks without. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

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• Ali Lohan’s First Single

The American Idol finale was last night and like you, I was glued to my set. OMG can you believe David won? Hahahaha. Not really, dumbass. See you thought we were going to be friends just now. And we could IM about what Syesha wore last week and which David was going to win and we’d giggle and LOL. And you’d tell me about that time in middle school when you did something inappropriate with your My Little Pony because you had strange feelings. And then afterward, it was awkward and it just felt weird to have My Little Pony hanging out with the rest of your dolls, because you know, now she was damaged goods and Malibu Barbie called her a whore and you know what bitch she can be.

David Cook wins! Hurray for America!