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A really bad, low-resolution pic is beginning to make the rounds on the net. Supposedly some chick who is a friend of a friend of a friend of another friend of Lindsay Lohan’s said that Lindsay got this screen clip in her email as a snippet from a longer video.

Video. Usually that conjures up images of hot celebs going nuts on the beefy, but not this time. This piece of shit was taken on a cell phone cam. Weak.

No one is sure if that is really Lilo, but if you make the picture really, really small, then squint your eyes until you can barely see, then yeah. It looks just like her. Whether it is or not, maybe this could be a new career move for her. The most hilarious thing about all of this is Lindsay is said to ‘not remember if this was her being recorded or not’.

Um. I remember when I suck a dick, how about you? And the guy damn well remembers. For a long, long time.

I can’t figure out if this is NSFW or not, you can’t tell if she is puffing the old skin-pipe or huffing down a hot dog. Hell, she might even just be sneezing. Who knows?

Anti-Lindsay Update: The super sexy sleuths over at The Blemish debunked the shit out of this story and even have a clip of the video shown here. It’s not Lindsay Lohan, just some random chick blowing a guy. Snore.

Pork free version after the jump…

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That’s it. I’m done. Congratulations, Lindsay, you’ve beaten me. I used to think that I possessed a biting wit and a funny take on celebrities’ misfortunes that would endear me to the masses, but you’ve taken that away from me. You’ve worn me down, and I’m waving the tattered white flag of surrender. First you get a DUI on Memorial Day weekend, then you enter rehab. OK, I’ll cut you some slack on account of your admitting that you’re a complete alcoholic (whereas I’m only halfway, i.e. I don’t have to go to rehab just yet). Then you celebrate your 21st birthday, sober and with your mom. I celebrated mine at a Bacchanalian Italian feast before gallivanting across Southern Europe for the next 3 months, but once again, I was willing to take it easy on you. Then you go out and drag race across LA last night, drunk on appletinis (or were they cosmos?) with some blow in your pocket, to boot. At this point, you have entered an area of celebrity culture that used to be reserved for Mike Tyson, Anna Nicole, and Michael Jackson. You’re so goddamned crazy that you’ve taken the fun out of it for the rest of us.

Lindsay Lohan was arrested for drunk driving in Santa Monica early this morning — her second bust in less than three months.

According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept., 21-year-old Lohan was nailed around 2:15 AM near Pico Boulevard and Main Street early Tuesday morning. (source)

So congratulations, Lindsay. I am a broken man. Here’s to your last few months on earth, because you’re no doubt only a few months away from launching your Benz off of the Santa Monica Pier on the way to screw some B-level male celebrity. Rest assured that I’ll pour out a wine cooler for you when the day comes. Here’s Lindsay in happier times.