The salaries of all the stars on MTV’s The Hills has leaked to the public. I Don’t quite understand the obsession with the show except that a lot of losers out there like to live vicariously through the stars and think if they are watching hot chicks going to clubs in Hollywood with tons of money, that must mean that they are hot chicks going to clubs in Hollywood with lots of money. I know. Crazy right?

Not that they are worthy of their fat paychecks but it is being reported that Kristin Cavallari makes $90,000 per episode, Spencer Pratt makes $65,000 per episode (haha), and Audrina Patridge makes $100,000. This has kind of makes me wonder how much Lauren Conrad was being paid when she was still on the show. Since then her star has dropped and she is lucky I am even mentioning her name because she doesn’t need any press because she is not doing anything.

And oh yea, Heidi Montag or Heidi Pratt or whatever the fuck she is calling herself these days makes $100,000 an episode just like Audrina. Neither have talent so I can understand why they make so much. That is the key on MTV. No talent= big bucks. I am much more interested in Audrina Patridge naked however so I hope they cut her salary so she will do a Playboy photo shoot. A REAL one. None of this hype and then no nipple like Heidi. I have my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for this. But let’s face it. As long as losers are sitting in their home eating ice cream and then purging said ice cream to keep a slim figure so they can look more like the people on The Hills, Audrina and the others will always have a  job.

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Paris Hilton. She loves many things. But The Hillsis not one of them. She actually had the balls to say, ” The show is,like, so lame and fake. He [ Doug Reinhardt] doesn’t even want to be a part of it.” Here is Paris Hilton the fakest chick in the world saying that she doesn’t like The Hills. I just always assumed this whole time that the shows main audience was people just like Paris Hilton.

She also says that she has never watched the show but that is bullshit because that is where she found her most recent boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. If he wasn’t famous in some small way, Paris would have NOTHING to do with him. In fact, I heard once that when Paris is single, she spends most of her time looking for boyfriends on IMDB.com. Kind of like a match.com for the wealthy.

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Links that are faker than Pamela Anderson’s bejublees

Brooke Hogan. Still trying harder than anyone else to be famous- IDLYITW

Hilary Duff. Cause she’s hot- Drunken Stepfather

Katie Holmes needs sex- Celeb News Wire

Two d-listers get engaged- Amy Grindhouse

haylie Duff looks uglier after the nose job- yeeeah

Jessica Biel has a nice dumper- I Don’t Want Your Life

Adam Lambert. Is he gay? Isn’t he? Yea, he’s gay- IDLYITW

Rihanna to testify in court in Chris Brown case- notorious news

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are too good for Britain’s Got Talent- Holy Moly

The future of The Hills- IBBB

Lauren Conrad thinks she’s interesting- Allie Is Wired

Kris Allen and Adam Lambert discuss the upcoming Idol tour- Geno’s World

Viva La Viral- mashup- popbytes

Freddie Prinze Jr. found work! – Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari has confirmed that she is going to be taking Lauren Conrad’s spot on MTV’s The Hills. So basically they are swapping out one talentless attention whore for another, but apparently MTV thinks they are making a savvy move.

I don’t have much to say about this slut except that she is hot and I would totally go with her. EW.com interviewed her about the move and introducing the biggest attention whores in television history and she had this to say, ” It’s so funny. I guess it was 4 years ago. I was dating Brody [ Jenner ] and Spencer was Jody’s best friend. I had known Heidi when she was friends with Lauren when we were still filming Laguna Beach.

” Heidi was like, ‘ Hook me up with someone . I wanna meet a guy.’ And Brody and I were kinda like , ‘Well, maybe Spencer?’ We’ll see what happens.’ So we all went on a double date and they just hit it off right away and now they’re married.” So basically we have Kristin Cavallari to thank for all the attention whoring Speidi do. And MTV wants her to star in a show. She should be taken out back to the barn and shot in the face.

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I save these “girl with big tits in a bikini” posts for days when news is slow or for when I’m out of comish for day or two because of some embassy situation or an overabundance of dirty martinis. So here she is y’all. Audrina Patridge, the poor little rich girl wit the big tits. Of all the girls on the Hills I like her best, because she sold early and she sold out fast and went right to posing nude. She’s like the trailer trash of Laguna Hills, even though she’s probably never seen the inside of a double wide. Call me Audrina, mine’s got 50″ plasma and a whirlpool tub. I’ll bring the pork cracklins and beer.

Whitney Port, the superfamous girl fromt that awesomely famous show The Hills which is about truly amazing people showed her tit at the Ivy (or somewhere) while eating lunch. I just put The Hills at the top of my DVR list (sorry One Tree Hill!!). Not really, dumbass. So don’t email me telling what LC did this week because I don’t fucking care. Unless she’s nude. Then I care like a Care Bear. Wanna see my rainbow?

Click here to see all the Whitney Port Boobies you can handle…