Taylor Swift has got it all going on so why she was dating a b-list Twilight fag I am not sure. But I am happily reporting today that Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner are DUNZO. A source close tot he couple make it sound like Lautner cut his losses and called it off but let’s face it, Swift dumped his sorry ass.

I would say this is great news and opens up all kinds of doors for guys who are looking to hook up with Swift but she is a total prude and likes to hear her songs on Disney and I think she secretly wishes she was 15 again. No idea why, maybe the weight of her boobs make her back hurt or some shit.

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Dunno why Taylor Swift is still in the news. If she had a new album to promote or something I could totally understand but the fact that she survived 20 years on this earth is not something I would consider celebratory worthy but others thought it was a big deal so they threw a party for her.

I am sure when she turned 16 her dad bought her a nice flashy car and all I can hope for now is that when she turns 21 her friends and family do the traditional thing and take her out bar hopping. Now that birthday party I will get excited to hear stories about. Congrats on your birthday Taylor, be sure to wear a short skirt with no panties the next time you leave the house.

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OK, so she is actually not taking off her clothes. She is actually just donating her old prom dress that she hasn’t worn in years to charity. I would love to hear that Taylor was getting naked for PETA or some other charity, but that job is for attention whores like Kourtney Kardashian. To make up for it, we have a very littleTaylor Swift nipple slip above. She is donating her prom dress, that she didn’t score in, to donatemydress.org. Really? That sounds made up.

Taylor isn’t the first celebrity to donate to the website. Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato also donated their rags to the charity. Taylor says, “I chose to give away this prom dress because I wore it once and loved it! To keep it around, hanging there all by itself and lonely in my closet, never to be worn again seemed a little pointless. I want another girl to feel good in it and have a great prom night because of this dress.” This is just another story of Taylor Swift trying to piggyback on the tails of Disney stars.

No one really knows why she does this, but it has to have something to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to grow up. I would like to make a joke about the possible cum stains left on the dress from prom night, but you know her ass didn’t put out. She probably was so paranoid about getting pregnant on prom night as soon as her boyfriend tried to kiss her, she punched him in the balls and immediately went inside and inhaled an entire bottle of morning after pills. It only works when he puts his pee pee in your woo woo Taylor. Didn’t they teach you that in sex ed class? Whoops! I just said sex. I am going to wash my mouth out with soap now.

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Links that wear a promise ring

Lindsay Lohan is a red head again- IDLYITW

The blind dude from American Idol went home last night- IBBB

Zac Efron tried to be funny- Allie Is Wired

Vida Guerra is lusty in latex- yeeeah

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Angelina Jolie will do what she wants, when she wants- Celeb News Wire

Kelly Brook is confusing- IDLYITW

What the fuck is Miley Cyrus doing? – I Don’t Want Your Life

Enrique Inglesias collects used tampons- Holy Moly

Everybody loves Miley Cyrus. Well except me.- Amy Grindhouse

Creative body art. And boobs- Attu World

Gwen Stefani is leggy- Drunken Stepfather

The attention whores do their daily whorin’- popbytes

Ben Affleck was a douche bag before he married Jennifer Garner- Geno’s World

Jennifer Lopez has a wig room- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Baseball player killed in hit-and-run- notorious news

Oh! Girls like this drive me up the wall. Here you have a hot, really hot girl who is 19 years old and her music career is booming. So how does she celebrate? By not having sex. She is even saying that she thinks of herself more like a 16 year old than a 19 year old. She doesn’t have sex, she is friends with all the Disney goody goodies and still lives in her parents house. Something is very wrong with this girl.

And oh yea, for all you pervs out there who like to picture her naked, like me, she doesn’t want you to do that either. She tells Rolling Stone, ” I feel like whatever you say about [sex] whether you do or don’t, it makes people picture you naked. And as much as possible, I am going to avoid that. It’s self-preservation, really.” What the fuck is all this self-preservation crap? Does that mean she will not put out until she is married? Now that she has gone on the record with Rolling Stone saying she is going to try to avoid the sex question, hopefully other publications will take this as their que to ask as many sex questions as humanly possible. Ok, enough talk about Taylor Swift. I am going to stare at my Taylor Swift poster and picture what her sweet little tight ass looks like bare.

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Links that want you to picture them naked

Julie Andrews camel toe. Do.Not.Click. – IBBB

The Jonas Brothers have their own record label- Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Lily Allen gets a Rihanna tattoo- d-listed

Backdoor Boy bitches about his former drug abuse- Geno’s World

Facebook causes cancer? – HolyMoly

Gisele Bundchen’s see through top- Drunken Stepfather

Victoria Beckham is skinny- yeeeah

Pamela Anderson has still got it- IDLYITW

Kristen Davis is a former alcoholic- I Don’t Want Your Life

Dita Von Teese is having plenty of sex- Celeb News Wire

Rihanna’s family doesn’t like Chris Brown- notorious news

Last night was the Grammys and one thing that really was interesting was the performance of Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus singing Taylor’s 15. When they, they meaning Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson who is Vince McMahon’s little bitch, announced that Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus would be performing together my first thought that went through my head was I wonder what Taylor Swift looks like naked and then I got back to reality and wondered if their voices could actually sync with each other.

It was a pretty cool performance and Taylor looked stunning. Of the Grammy performance and her friendship with Miley Taylor said, ” We’re friends, so anytime I’m performing with her, my nerves go away, ’cause she’s always trying to make me laugh or is doing something ridiculous.” I bet that Miley’s dad set up this friendship. He has enough money he probably bought Taylor for Miley. And what exactly does Miley do that is “ridiculous?” Like taking half nude pictures of herself and sending them to half the people on the internet? I am pissed enough as it is that Taylor doesn’t date or do anything cool. The last thing she needs to do is spend time with a skank like Miley. Taylor used to date the oldest Jonas Brother but then he tried to touch one of her breasts and she peed her pants a little bit.

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Links that have friends that aren’t media whores

One of the Olsen twins smokes cigarettes- IBBB

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Carrie Underwood has nice cleavage- IDLYITW

Eddie Murphy will be broke soon- Holy Moly

Calire Danes is engaged- Celeb News Wire

Fergies wedding photos- Allie Is Wired

Even Paris Hilton skanked up the Grammy Awards- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Katy Perry has netted cleavage- I Don’t Want Your Life

Chris Brown isn’t the only girl beater- Drunken Stepfather

Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson are an item again- Geno’s World

Cyndi Lauper is still alive- popbytes

Angelina Jolie won’t be out done by octuplet mom- yeeeah

Update: Rihanna is the female victim and was pistol whipped- notorious news

Whoever is getting a piece of this every night I am obscenely jealous. Just when Carrie Underwood hit the country scene as the hot, blond and young new comer, here comes Taylor Swift. Hotter, blonder and younger. Totally blowing Carrie Underwood out of the water. Rumors have been circulating that Taylor Swift may be pregnant. Again, jealous. After hearing these rumors the 18 year old took things to her myspace page.

” I read a very creative rumor this morning saying I’m pregnant, which is the most IMPOSSIBLE thing on the planet. Take my word for it. Impossible.” So what you are saying is, you are pregnant? This isn’t impossible Taylor. You see when you were busy during high school writing songs and whitening your teeth I am sure you missed out on a good deal of sex education. So let me break it down for you.

When a man inserts his penis into a woman’s vagina and they rotate and eventually the man ejaculates into the woman’s vagina, then they have just had sex. Sex=pregnancy. So if you partook in any activities which are considered sex. Then you may be pregnant. See how that works? You’re welcome.

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Links too sexy for the internet

George Clooney to return to E.R.- Allie Is Wired

Talk about look a likes. Holy shit!- IBBB

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Kate Winslet pissed about airbrush rumors- notorious news

Some more of Scarlett Johansson’s cleavage- Drunken Stepfather

Katy Perry has a freaky dress- I Don’t Want Your Life

Tila Tequila has a lesbian moment- The Bastardly

Will Smith is a pussy- Geno’s World

Lily Allen looks hot- d-listed