Posts tagged Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift is Back On The Market
Dec 29th
Taylor Swift has got it all going on so why she was dating a b-list Twilight fag I am not sure. But I am happily reporting today that Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner are DUNZO. A source close tot he couple make it sound like Lautner cut his losses and called it off but let’s face it, Swift dumped his sorry ass.
I would say this is great news and opens up all kinds of doors for guys who are looking to hook up with Swift but she is a total prude and likes to hear her songs on Disney and I think she secretly wishes she was 15 again. No idea why, maybe the weight of her boobs make her back hurt or some shit.
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Taylor Swift is 20, Still Boring
Dec 14th
Dunno why Taylor Swift is still in the news. If she had a new album to promote or something I could totally understand but the fact that she survived 20 years on this earth is not something I would consider celebratory worthy but others thought it was a big deal so they threw a party for her.
I am sure when she turned 16 her dad bought her a nice flashy car and all I can hope for now is that when she turns 21 her friends and family do the traditional thing and take her out bar hopping. Now that birthday party I will get excited to hear stories about. Congrats on your birthday Taylor, be sure to wear a short skirt with no panties the next time you leave the house.
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Taylor Swift Strips For Charity
Apr 9th
OK, so she is actually not taking off her clothes. She is actually just donating her old prom dress that she hasn’t worn in years to charity. I would love to hear that Taylor was getting naked for PETA or some other charity, but that job is for attention whores like Kourtney Kardashian. To make up for it, we have a very littleTaylor Swift nipple slip above. She is donating her prom dress, that she didn’t score in, to donatemydress.org. Really? That sounds made up.
Taylor isn’t the first celebrity to donate to the website. Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato also donated their rags to the charity. Taylor says, “I chose to give away this prom dress because I wore it once and loved it! To keep it around, hanging there all by itself and lonely in my closet, never to be worn again seemed a little pointless. I want another girl to feel good in it and have a great prom night because of this dress.” This is just another story of Taylor Swift trying to piggyback on the tails of Disney stars.
No one really knows why she does this, but it has to have something to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to grow up. I would like to make a joke about the possible cum stains left on the dress from prom night, but you know her ass didn’t put out. She probably was so paranoid about getting pregnant on prom night as soon as her boyfriend tried to kiss her, she punched him in the balls and immediately went inside and inhaled an entire bottle of morning after pills. It only works when he puts his pee pee in your woo woo Taylor. Didn’t they teach you that in sex ed class? Whoops! I just said sex. I am going to wash my mouth out with soap now.
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Links that wear a promise ring
Lindsay Lohan is a red head again- IDLYITW
The blind dude from American Idol went home last night- IBBB
Zac Efron tried to be funny- Allie Is Wired
Vida Guerra is lusty in latex- yeeeah
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Angelina Jolie will do what she wants, when she wants- Celeb News Wire
Kelly Brook is confusing- IDLYITW
What the fuck is Miley Cyrus doing? – I Don’t Want Your Life
Enrique Inglesias collects used tampons- Holy Moly
Everybody loves Miley Cyrus. Well except me.- Amy Grindhouse
Creative body art. And boobs- Attu World
Gwen Stefani is leggy- Drunken Stepfather
The attention whores do their daily whorin’- popbytes
Ben Affleck was a douche bag before he married Jennifer Garner- Geno’s World
Jennifer Lopez has a wig room- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Baseball player killed in hit-and-run- notorious news
Taylor Swift Is A Prude
Feb 19th
Oh! Girls like this drive me up the wall. Here you have a hot, really hot girl who is 19 years old and her music career is booming. So how does she celebrate? By not having sex. She is even saying that she thinks of herself more like a 16 year old than a 19 year old. She doesn’t have sex, she is friends with all the Disney goody goodies and still lives in her parents house. Something is very wrong with this girl.
And oh yea, for all you pervs out there who like to picture her naked, like me, she doesn’t want you to do that either. She tells Rolling Stone, ” I feel like whatever you say about [sex] whether you do or don’t, it makes people picture you naked. And as much as possible, I am going to avoid that. It’s self-preservation, really.” What the fuck is all this self-preservation crap? Does that mean she will not put out until she is married? Now that she has gone on the record with Rolling Stone saying she is going to try to avoid the sex question, hopefully other publications will take this as their que to ask as many sex questions as humanly possible. Ok, enough talk about Taylor Swift. I am going to stare at my Taylor Swift poster and picture what her sweet little tight ass looks like bare.
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Links that want you to picture them naked
Julie Andrews camel toe. Do.Not.Click. – IBBB
The Jonas Brothers have their own record label- Allie Is Wired
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Lily Allen gets a Rihanna tattoo- d-listed
Backdoor Boy bitches about his former drug abuse- Geno’s World
Facebook causes cancer? – HolyMoly
Gisele Bundchen’s see through top- Drunken Stepfather
Victoria Beckham is skinny- yeeeah
Pamela Anderson has still got it- IDLYITW
Kristen Davis is a former alcoholic- I Don’t Want Your Life
Dita Von Teese is having plenty of sex- Celeb News Wire
Rihanna’s family doesn’t like Chris Brown- notorious news
