Simon Cowell must be bored with landing all kinds of tail and flashing around his millions of dollars because he has just made the decision to settle down. With who? A hotty named Mezhgan Hussainy. That is probably one of the weirdest names I have ever heard and will fit in nicely with Hollywood.

I gotta say, if I were a chick dating Simon Cowell, I would be nervous as fuck. One minute you are performing a sex act and then the next minute he is criticizing you to tears about how bad your performance was. This is not a situation I would want to be in if I were a girl. Anyway, congrats. I hope he has fun pounding the same badge for decades to come.

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Pretty soon American Idol will be back on the air with one major change, Paula Abdul’s drunk “I love everybody” ass will not be there and instead you will get Ellen DeGeneres which will take every cheap joke opportunity that is thrown at her and will probably make an ass of herself while trying to make those cheap jokes.

Simon will still be a dickhead extraordinaire and my prediction is that Simon will make Ellen cry within the first week. That has been my prediction since it was announced that she would be judging. American Idol will be a bloodbath this year and I can not wait to see what happens. Some people are saying Simon is gonna leave and since he has like 18 billion dollars in his bank account, there is no real reason for him to stick around. 

Ellen is not giving up her show and Oprah just announced that she is ending her show in 2011. This gives Ellen the opportunity to become one of the most influential women in America and totally dominate the daytime ratings but she would rather be a meek, underpaid judge on AI. Moron. 

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Jessica Alba looked slammin’ at The People’s Choice Awards- IDLYITW

Amanda Bynes does Maxim- Geno’s World

Lady GaGa is fashionable- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Amanda Seyfried ruins a see through moment- Drunken Stepfather

Ashley Greene is naked again- yeeeah

Hannah Montana is over!- notorious news

Carrie Underwood was at The People’s Choice Awards- IDLYITW

Nuts hot chicks of 2010- Fatback Media (NSFW)

Simon Cowell is best known in the U.S as a judge on Fox’s hit show American Idol. But what a lot of people don’t know is that he has a show in the U.K. called X-Factor. Lame. Britney Spears took her worldwide lip synching tour to the U.K. where she performed on the show. Simon Cowell was “blown away.” Hello? Britney is lip synching. Of course you were blown away.

Simon Cowell told Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS_FM, ” To be fair- and this may be a bit egotistical- I think she was in awe of me. It was like she was just staring at me. At the end of it, I just said ‘ Look- touch me- I’m human!’ And I think that broke the ice.” Of course she was staring at you Simon she was all drugged up on psych meds that her daddy makes her take. And don’t try to pass yourself off as human Simon. We all know you are one of those evil demons the scientologists blame the problems of the world on.

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Sleazy dominatrix links

Britney Spears is a jerk- IBBB

Lindsay Lohan is hosting a New Year’s eve party- Allie Is Wired

Blake Fielder blames himself for Amy Winhouse’s addictions- popbytes

Nikolina Pisek got her cell phone hacked- Drunken Stepfather

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Sienna Miller and Keira Knightly. Spank.Bank.Overload. – The Bastardly

Ricki Lake lost 140 lbs. Probably with surgery- Geno’s World

Pink is jealous- I Don’t Want Your Life

Madonna is a record breaker- Celebrity Dirty Laundry