I think they lost something behind the couch.

I love a good sex tape as much as the next guy – especially when your mom is in it – the camera loves her. Rumors have swirled (like poo in porcelain) for months about a possible Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt sex tape – underwhelming the shit out of everyone who blatantly continued living their lives. *Uses Dateline’s Keith Morrison voice* But now…all that is changed. It seems Heidi. Had sex. With…another girl. Ooooooh. Ooooh.

Shock the monkey  TMZ:

We’re told Heidi has agreed to listen to Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch when he arrives in Costa Rica to make an offer on the footage … some of which is said to contain girl-on-girl action with Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon.

We’re told Heidi wants Hirsch to provide her with the sales numbers on Kim Kardashian’s sex tape — which was also released through Vivid — because Heidi may be interested in working out a “back-end deal” if Steve can’t offer enough cash up front to satisfy Montag.

In case you’re wondering why I have that banner pic of the two girls (and twins!); at least one of those girls is Karissa Shannon. I can’t tell them apart. I’m not sure if they can. I do know this: judging by pic number 3, either Hef is a tiny pixie man or those are some big bitches. Watch out Spencer, the pretty one might think you’re an albino chimp and spear you for her village. In case this is your first day out of Mexican prison and you’ve yet to feel the hurricane of Heidi Montag media rain down upon your face like a fetid golden shower in a Thai massage parlor, you can always go here and see more Heidi Montag relatively nude pics.

So obviously the autolinker broke last night so you only get 2 links. One of them may involve a Britney Spears sex tape with Tony Shaloub from TV’s Monk. Maybe it was Adnan something. What am I, Walter Cronkite?

• Britney Spears Sex Tape at Yeeeah!
• Formerly Skinny, Now Plus-Sized Model Wins ANTM at Deceiver.com