Posts tagged Sarah Jessica Parker
Horseface Gets Her Puppies
Jun 23rd
Sarah Jessica Parker is an old woman with a dried up uterus so she used a third party with Matthew Broderick’s sperm, I guess, to create a pair of twins. Now the woman has had the babies and SJP will swoop in to claim what is legally hers. I am sure the surrogate mother is happy with all the attention she has been getting lately but I am sure she is glad that it is over because this means she will not have to look at SJP’s ugly mug anymore.
Let’s face it, even if SJP was in tip top shape and could of had these babies on her own, you wouldn’t want to see what the offspring of Matthew Broderick and SJP would look like. I am sure this would make a killer “if they mated” bit on Conan O’Brien. If Conan O’Brien even does that anymore.
Links that can conceive octuplets
Sissy fight !!!- IDLYITW
Cameron Diaz signs autographs at the unvieling of her star on the Hollywood walk of fame- Geno’s World
Miley Cyrus is a sleazy little bitch- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Kat Moss is too lazy to walk- popbytes
R.I.P. Ed McMahon- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Chris Brown gets off scottfree- IDLYITW
Perez Hilton is not GLAAD- notorious news
Katie Price has big breasts. I . Want.- Drunken Stepfather
Lil Allen isn’t fooling us – Allie Is Wired
Paris Hilton doesn’t care about your social conventions- Celeb News Wire
Megan Fox is a genius- yeeeah
Bruno is popular- Amy Grindhouse
AbiClancy is still alive- Holy Moly
Kristin Cavallari is an underrated hotty- I Do’t Want Your Life
SJP Is Too Old And Frail To Have Her Own Kids
May 20th
Sarah Jessica Parker is an old lady. Everyone knows that, and it doesn’t make her look any younger when she goes on television commercials and talks about good wrinkle coverage. She has decided to have a surrogate mother carry her next baby, and as of a couple of weeks ago, we know that it will be twins. I am guessing her eggs are too old and dried up to actually get pregnant on her own. Or maybe she is just being selfish and doesn’t want to lose her figure, cause if she gets fat now, she will never work it off.
Billy Bush asked SJP on Access Hollywood about her failure to get preggers saying,” A lot of people face disappointment – [did you have your] fair share of disappointment?” In which SJP replied, ” Yeah, I mean I couldn’t pretend otherwise. It would be a complicated- it would be odd to have made this choice if I was able to, you know, have successful pregnancies since my son’s birth.”
She could have summed up the whole situation pretty easily without so many fancy words by just saying, “Yeah, my eggs are drier than the Mojave desert and my husband is in the closet and won’t have sex with me.” Yes. That is what she should have said. I like what I said better.
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Sex And The City Is Not Going Away
Jan 22nd
It is being reported now by Us magazine that Sex And The City , or SATC for you savvy people, is coming back to the big screen for a sequel. Shit. If they are going to put a bunch of women together to talk about their love lives and are nymphomaniacs, they should get some hotter women. Younger women. Women that men actually want to have sex with! Sarah Jessica Parker is the closest thing to a real live witch that anyone will ever see.
According to a Us soruce, ” Not all the contracts are signed, but everyone is on board.” The reason it took such a long time to make the first movie is because Kim Catrall was holding out until she got a paycheck as big as Sarah’s. Which one is the better actress is debatablebut which one I would rather fuck is a very difficult decision. It is like asking me if I want to blow my brains out with a shot gun or stab myself in the heart. I don’t really feel like doing either, but if I were forced I would make someone else do it. So if I had to bang either of them I would probably use a strap on and keep my eyes closed the entire time.
[ Image via ]
Links that want to see Sex And The Country
Rihanna has nice cleavage- Drunken Stepfather
The Oscars nomination list- Allie Is Wired
Helena Christensen is still sexy at 41- yeeeah
Cute college girl of the day – College Humor
George Clooney is coming back to ER – d-listed
Ashley Tisdale is in a white bikini- The Bastardly
Today is the one year anniversary of Heath Ledger’s death- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Tom Cruise likes scientology. But scientology doesn’t like him. – Geno’s World
A hot chick wearing close to nothing- I Don’t Want Your Life
P!nk is off the market- notorious news
Please Enough With Sex And The City!
Nov 7th
I know for a fact that a lot of people out there hate Sex And The City. It is basically based around a bunch of hard up horny old ladies who are trying to bang younger dudes. They try to make the show spunky by using the hottest old ladies HBO can find, but they have failed me there. Kim Catrall was a minx in her hayday but now she is a wrinkled nymphomaniac.
Kristin Davis is hands down the hottest on the cast. She is one smokin’ hot broad. Cynthia Nixon has never been hot nor will she ever be. And in real life she is a lesbian. So after every sex scene in the movie, after cameras stop rolling she wipes all the yucky guy germs off her lips. And Sarah Jessica Parker. With her crooked nose, mole on her face and vieny guy arms, she is the closet thing to being a real live witch than any other celebrity in Hollywood. So, in a nutshell, unless Kristin Davis has a full frontal nude scene you can’t expect to get a good review of the new movie here or any other site on the internet.
So anyway. Kim Catrall says the new movie will be shot this summer but SJP says it is not a done deal yet.
