It is being reported that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a violent relationship when they were still together. A source close tot he couple said, “One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head,” she told Radar. “She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her.”

See this is why LiLo needs to keep her eyes on the cock. When she was in a gay relationship all that did was cause her to be less of a train wreck and get lumps on her head. If she was chasing dick she would have not only been safer but she would have made some pretty cool tabloid headlines as well. I hope she learned her lesson and performs thirty hail Marys in repentance. If she doesn’t, Sam Ronson will break her fingers with a ruler.

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Samantha Ronson has been spending a lot of time in London. Apparently the act of picking up a record and putting it on the record player and occasionally scratching it back and forth can earn you a lot of money these days. Seems like a frugal job.

So while SamRo was deejaying in London, Lindsay Lohan followed her there is a lame attempt to win her back. Apparently she did just so, or did she? She wrote on her Twitter page, ” Leaving London with my favorite favorite.” Now Lohan could be talking about a number of things. A large back of cocaine. A case of red bulls. But people are speculating that her “favorite favorite” is Samantha Ronson.

If they are back together it is not like they will be able to keep it a secret. Sam will deejay and LiLo will be there getting hammered and annoying the fuck out of Sam. So basically I have to wait a full 12 hours before we find out if they are back on or not. I am calling bullshit, but the clubs will tell us the truth.

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Piranha 3-D may do well- IDLYITW

Look it’s Zach Morris! – Geno’s World

Nicoel Kidman might be preggers- popbytes

Nicollete Sheridan got a hair cut- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Lindsay Lohan is see through- Drunken Stepfather

Speidi are off I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here for good- yeeeah

Pete Doherty arrested after taking drugs on a plane- IDLYITW

Miley Cyrus is back on the market- notorious news

Gerri Halliwell is exploring- Celeb News Wire

Audrina Patridge is single again. Hooray?- Amy Grindhouse

No one wants to star in a movie with Miley Cyrus- Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Gordon Ramsey called a chick a fat lesbian- Holy Moly

Stop in the name of Lauren- I Don’t Want Your Life

Lindsay Lohan has been split from Samantha Ronson for a few weeks now, but they still remain “friends.” They haven’t really been seen with each other much in the public, but they have stayed in contact through Blackberry text messages and short visits. It is also being reported that while LiLo was in Hawaii and SamRo was in NYC, Lindsay changed her blackberry messenger name to “LL loves Sam Ronson.”

But don’t worry, Lindsay will not hook back up with that troll again. Mainly because that troll’s family will lose all respect for her if she does. A source close to Ronson says, ” Sam’s family will literally lose all respect if she goes back to Lindsay, and that’s what’s convincing her things are really over.” I say good riddance. Lindsay could eat just about any cock in Hollywood. Why would she settle for 3rd grade tuna when she could be eating the best steak in the house?

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Links that hate romantic relapses

Some models computer hacked, topless photos leaked- IDLYITW

Paris Hilton is trying to look smart- Celeb News Wire

A Charley Uchea upskirt. Wait…who? – Drunken Stepfather

Kiefer Sutherland won’t go to jail- yeeeah

Paula Abdul performed on American Idol last night. Yea, it sucked- Holy Moly

Pamela Anderson shows us what we like- I Don’t Want Your Life

Chris Brown wants a dismissal- IDLYITW

Posh Beckham is in her underwear- Amy Grindhouse

LiLo’s borrowed Maserati got banged up- Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Another Carrie Prejean topless photo leaked, still no nipple- Geno’s World

Between two ferns with Zach Galifianakis- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Lindsay lohan channels Marilyn. Could she channel the dead part of her? – popbytes

Jon Gosselin’s mistress has a sex tape- notorious news

I am going to take this news with a big grain of salt and take my time before saying that LiLo and SamRo are dunzo. Apparently Samantha Rosnon’s family, not necessarily Samantha Ronson, wants to get a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan. Sgt.Nutall of the Beverly Hills PD said, ” They were directed to the court to get a restraining order.” I saw some video yesterday of LiLo hiding her face and getting asked by the paparazzi if her and Sam were dunzo and all she had to say was, “I love Sam.”

This is sad news, but for the sake of entertainment it is pretty good news. She could relapse after this and get some dick at the clubs she goes to every night. Since she started dating Sam, Lohan’s life has been way to boring. And I doubt Sam was smart enough to make a sex tape of the two having sex. In fact, I wouldn’t want to see that tape. My body would exchange orgasms when Lindsay was on the screen and vomitous when Sam was on the screen. My body would go from orgasm to vomitous so many times that I would eventually die from dehydration. Talk about a bitter/sweet death.

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This weekend was a pretty funny weekend for Lindsay Lohan. Well funny for me, tragic for LiLo. It started with Lindsay showing up at a party that SamRo was deejaying and 5, yes 5, bodyguards restricted Lohan from entering the building. Obviously, Lindsay was pissed and went back to her hotel. Then the next day, locksmiths were spotted by TMZ  changing the locks at Samantha Ronson’s house. When LiLo showed up, she was locked out.

With all of this shit happening on camera, if I were in LiLo shoes I would feel pretty embarrassed. I am sure this is going to be the straw that broke the camels back and Lindsay will probably go bang Chace Crawford or whatever male celebrity most resembles a lesbo. I am sure they will miss each others cunts in a couple of days and they will reunite and continue their deejaying,party crashing ways.

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Links that use the deadbolt

Jessica Simpson is in a bikini, less blurry- IDLYITW

Amy Winehouse is a crackhead on horseback- IBBB

Paris Hilton might marry Doug Reinhardt soon- Allie Is Wired

What the fuck is this shit?- yeeeah

Jessica Biel is getting naked in Powder Blue but we already knew that- Celeb News Wire

Shoplifting couple on Dr.Phil get raided- Amy Grindhouse

Welcome to the penis festival- IDLYITW

Kate Moss is releasing a cook book. I have been looking for a good cocaine/red bull recipe- Holy Moly

Toni Braxton is looking good- I Don’t Want Your Life

Kanye West likes Poker Face- popbytes

Kim Kardashian thinks the easter bunny is a pervert- Geno’s World

Katie Holmes says she is a nerd- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Lady GaGa thinks she is punk- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Ashton Kutcher is cheating- Drunken Stepfather

Chris Brown wants to plea out- notorious news

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have faced a bevvy of break up rumors recently but unlike other celebrity break up rumors, almost all of them are true. It seems as though even though they fight like they are married, they just can not get enough of each other. Last Friday the two were partying it up at ESPN’s pre-Super Bowl party and Lohan was seen grabbing at Samantha’s blackberry to see who was constantly texting her. Lohan made sure that the photographers and other party goers saw that she was drinking only Red Bull but after the party a bottle of liquor was found underneath Lohan’s table.

After the ESPN bash LiLo and SamRo headed over to a MAXIM bash, pictured above,  where she was yet again busted with a bottle of Patron underneath the table. So according to multiple sources, LiLo is drinking again. But I am fine with that. She is more fun when she is drunk. Somebodyhas to be the train wreck in the media. Seeing as that Amy Winehouse is off chilling in the Caribbean. I doubt anymore rumors will be noteworthy regarding the LiLo and SamRo dunzo-onzo relationship, but I love these chicks so you will probably see it here. One thing that I have observed through reading tabloids regarding Lohan, the more she drinks, the straighter she gets. That is probably why she isn’t getting along with Sam. She wants dick. And as badly as SamRo wants to have a penis, she will never grow one.

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Super Bowl hangover links

Sober House? That doesn’t sound like fun- IBBB

TomKat are living it up in Rio- Drunken Stepfather

Britney Spears is getting some restraining orders- Holy Moly

Ali Lohan cleavage. Do not look she is jailbait. Do not look she is jailbait. - yeeeah

Lily Allen looks cute when she plays in the snow- d-listed

Mischa Barton is hot but her clothes suck- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Best Super Bowl commercials 2009- Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Emma Watson will never drop cleavage- Geno’s World

Lauren Conrad dressed in all black- I Don’t Want Your Life

Kate Hudson has a home liposuction kit- Celeb News Wire

Michael Phelps busted for smoking pot- notorious news

This has been a long time coming but Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are officially dunzo! That means LiLo is back on the market and more than likely she will not seek out another lesbian partner. Which means we get to go back to the good old days where Lohan was sleeping with every guy that moved and she stayed out all hours of the night partying and being insecure.

This is great news for me, but really just another excuse to post the Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures we saw the other day. Most people bitch and say “she is too skinny” but I would much rather have she is too skinny instead of she is too fat. Now that sh is done”experimenting” with lesbianism, we can all go back to wondering who Lohan will date next. Chace Crawford? Zac Efron? Will she steal George Clooney away from Paris Hilton? More than likely the answers to all of these questions is no. All we can sanely hope for is that she hooks up with a REAL hot hick. A REAL lesbian. One that looks like a girl and fucks like a girl. I think Megan Fox is a perfect candidate. I’ll be watching Lohan. I’ll be watching and I will be horny. I mean waiting, waiting.

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Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson flew back to L.A. yesterday but the flight was not a smooth one. During the flight they had such a big fight that Lohan was inconsolable and the flight attendant even asked if she would like to disembark. This comes after the fight they had at Sam’s Hollywood hills home.

I hope the two split. Lindsay’s late night romps with Hollywood men seem to be much more fun to write about and you get the guys perspective on how great it was to sleep with Lindsay Lohan. Here is Lindsay at the airport being forced to remove her socks because we all know she likes to smuggle cocaine in those bitches. Enough about SamRo, she is a dog and deserves to die. Here are some Lindsay Lohan bikini pics to get your mind off that boy/troll Lohan is dating.

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Links that are single and happy

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Chloe Sevigny is in a bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Pink comes crawling back to the only guy who would ever fuck her- Allie Is Wired

Another d-lister goes to the clink- yeeeah

Kelly Clarkson has a new cd out- notorious news

Erica Hill is the hot slut of the day- d-listed

Stacey Keibler is a tool. But she looks good. – The Bastardly

Paris Hilton and George Clooney. A match made in hell. – Geno’s World

Katy Perry is wearing a sexy outfit- I Don’t Want Your Life

A d-lister dies- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

In Lindsay Lohan’s life a lot of people have exploited her. Her father, her old boyfriends and especially her mother. But now Lohan is getting exploited by the person she would least expect to be exploited by, her one true lover. That’s right, since showing up to DJ gigs with Lohan in tow, Samantha Ronson is now making over $25,000 per gig as opposed to her $1,500 fee before dating Lindsay.

Because of all these gigs, SamRo has netted in over $3 million last year alone. Sources close to the couple state that Sam never contractually states that Lohan will show up, but that changes come New Years Eve. Come New Years, they have both signed contracts to host a New Years Eve party at Mansion night club in Miami. Why can’t my girlfriend net me millions of dollars for just going out and having a good time? I am going to have to give her a talking to. And by talking to I mean giving her the back of my hand 4 or 5 times until she stops crying.

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Links that can spin a record like no other

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Amy Winehouse topless. PUKE! – notorious news

Pam wears short shorts- IBBB

Alicia Keys rockin’ a bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Rock Of Love likes naked chicks- yeeeah

Hilary Duff may be getting married- Geno’s World

Robert Pattinson cut that shit off his head that he called hair- Allie Is Wired

Rihanna will attend the inauguration- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Even in winter Xtina dresses like a whore- I Don’t Want Your Life

Bai Ling wishing you Berry Kwismas- The Bastardly

Lindsay Lohan should really know better by now. She has been a Hollywood regular for years and she knows that them fuckers at PETA are crazy. Lohan while entered Paris’s VIP Room Theater in the early hours of Saturday, a crazy PETA member came running up and threw a bag of flour all over LiLo. At first Lindsay started licking her lips and said,” man this blow is bunk!” I think the PETA member could have been a little bit more creative. I mean didn’t they used to throw blood on people? That would have been more hot.

What the fuck do these PETA people do? Hang out at bars waiting for celebrities to show up so they can “flour” them. I am curious how they even knew Lohan was gonna be there. Either way, SamRo is pissed. Samantha Ronson wrote on her MySpaceblog, ” The girl who threw [the flour] acted like an animal herself. I take that back, it’s an insult to animals to group her in with them, by dog is FAR more civilized than that person.” Lets not underestimate SamRo’s dog. The dog is also far prettier than Samantha Ronson and far smarter than Lindsay Lohan.

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