Posts tagged Pete Wentz
Ashlee Simpson: No Longer Preggers
Nov 21st
OK. So she doesn’t go out clubbing every night and the paparazzi don’t snap exclusive pictures of Ashlee Simpson passing out drunk in SUV’s but Ashlee Simpson is still interesting. Right? Apparently, with Ashlee eating lemons and “bouncing off the walls” in an attempt to induce labor, it finally worked. Yesterday Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz welcomed their first baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz to the world.
I am sure when the baby first arrived Ashlee was exhausted from labor and Pete had guyliner running down his face because of the tears. By the way, what the fuck is up with the weird name? I understand a name like Bronx, this is an attempt to make the baby sound more like an Angelina Jolie baby. Apparently people like Ashlee and Pete had normal names in grade school so they have no idea what it is like to be made fun of for having a weird name. Bronx Mowgli Wentz. B.M.W. What snobs.
Ashlee Simpson is Pregnant. Or not.
Apr 15th
According to Us and Ok!, Ashlee Simpson is pregnant. According to Pete Wentz, the alleged baby daddy, Ashlee Simpson is not pregnant. Pregnancy is like a train; once it’s left the station there’s no turning back. Unless you decide that the train just doesn’t fit into your lifestyle and you crash the shit out of the train and put it in the dumpster outback with a bunch of other unwanted trains and hope that one day you’ll take the train again when the time is right, but for now career and travel are much too important. I am the king of metaphor.
From Us :
Ashlee Simpson is pregnant, a source confirmed to Usmagazine.com.The singer, 23, is expecting her first child with fiancé Pete Wentz, 28.Simpson and the Fall Out Boy bassist announced their engagement Wednesday.”We are thrilled to confirm their engagement and congratulate this happy couple,” a spokesperson for the couple told Us. “Beyond that there is nothing to say.”
MTV says, fuck that noize, beeotch:
In an e-mail to MTV News, Wentz denied reports that surfaced Monday (April 14) on the Web sites of OK! magazine and Us Weekly that he and Simpson, 23, are expecting their first child.
“There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood,” he wrote. “This is all news to me. I can’t wait for the story about how I’m really in a gay relationship and this is all just a cover. … I mean really, this is crazy. … I mean we’re engaged, that’s true, and happy about it.”
So if I’m reading this right, Pete Wentz is trying to get out of responsibility for a child he fathered by being gay. Well played, Pete. Well played. Down south we hand;e that situation differently. You either move to the next county or give the girl a Scarlett O’Hara. More Ashlee when she was hot. Fiddledeedee.
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Engaged
Apr 11th
Pete Wentz is now dead to me. It’s not like we ever spoke (except for the voices in my head), but still. Proposing to Ashlee Simpson was the last straw. I guess I should suck it up and say congratulations to the happy couple . . . may your life together be filled with enough eyeliner and flat irons for the two of you to share, tragedy enough for Pete to continue to write depressing lyrics, and enough money so that Ashlee spares us from ever hearing her singing voice again. As for me, as I seek out a new crush, I’m setting my sights higher. Literally. Like on someone who is taller than 5’4″.
