It seems that since Paula Abdul left American Idolher life has consistently gone downhill. She dressed up as Ellen and danced around some stage to make fun of her and pretty much everyone didn’t think that was funny but then ABC wanted to start a show called Star Search which was a show in like the 70′s and she will not be judging that either.

Why does Paula keep playing the “judge” card? Does she think her opinion matters that much? Just a funny side note: there looks to be some mysterious white substance on Paula’s dress in the pic above. It could be that she spilled a little bit of blow on herself when she desperately took a few snorts before getting on the red carpet or it is some dude’s spunk that she blew to get considered for Star Search.

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Weekend links that are feeling abandoned

Snooki is a killer- IDLYITW

Octomom might be homeless soon- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Robert Pattinson is trashed- Allie Is Wired

Britney Spears is back to looking like white trash- Drunken Stepfather

Elmo is a pervert- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Julia Roberts found work- Geno’s World

Tiger Woods is a dirty slut- yeeeah

Michelle Bombshell is topless- notorious news

STOP THE PRESSES!: Whitney Houston not stoned on crack- popbytes

LiLo didn’t talk to her dad in the hospital after his heart attack- Amy Grindhouse

Filming The Hills is better than watching The Hills- IBBB

I can see Jessica Alba’s shirt- Celeb Jihad

 

I have mixed feelings aobut Ellen DeGeneres replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol. I mean I think they are both cute but sometimes I find myself wrestling with the idea of which one I would rather fuck. I guess Elle. Cause she would hate it. But usually when my penis can not make a decision it just goes back to what it has always known. Miranda Kerr.

Sources close to Paula Abdul say she was “stunned” and “shocked” that they had already found a replacement for her on AI.Also, in case you were wondering no they did not tell everyone at fox who was going to be the replacement in fear of it leaking to the public. Instead Ellen DeGeneres got to do herself the honors of announcing her judgeship on her daytime television show. I am sure since the announcement was made Paula did an Olympic dive into a pile of prescription medications and booze. She will get over it though. Well maybe not but at least she’ll be good and blitzed so she doesn’t have to feel embarrassed.

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Now it is official. Paula Abdul is leaving American Idol. And in some small way, she will be missed. Her standing up and dancing to songs no matter how terrible they sounded will forever be burned into my memory. At the end of the day it comes down to dollars and cents. She was asking for $20 million a year for her to stay on the show and the Idol producers were only offering a 30% raise. Apparently this chick only made $2 million a year all the way back from the beginning.

I also know that Paula has had some alcohol problems in the past and I loved tuning in to see if she had some booze in her system both during the audition phase and during the actual contest stage. Simon Cowell inked a deal worth $145 million a year and Ryan Seacrest inked a $40 million 3 year deal with the show. I personally think that the Idol producers were thinking about giving her the boot when they hired Kara DioGuardi but Paula and her reps are insisting that she made the choice to leave all on her own.

Paula took things to her Twitter account saying, ” With sadness in my heart, I’ve decided not to return to Idol. I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day one become an international phenomenon.” I wouldn’t go all the way to say that she helped the show in any way but I guess that is a delusion of grandeur. So long Paula! Have a drink on me! See you… never anywhere again.

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A lot of people are talking about how Simon Cowell is making serious bank being a judge on American Idol. Let’s face it. People tune in to see him. He is the cruelest judge and therefore the most entertaining. He is now making and estimated $145 mil for his time on Idol. Of course I am not sure how many season that includes. And now it is being reported that Ryan Seacrest signed a 3 year deal for a handsome $45 mil.

Paula however, is left out in the cold. She tells even the shittiest singers that they were great and that she loves them and that is not necessarily what viewers want to see. Kara DioGuardi was a little bit rougher on the contestants so if Paula walks she is TOTALLY replaceable. Paula at the end of the day is pissed that she is getting paid a measly $2-3 mil a year when the host, not even a judge, is making more than triple that. Filming for the next season starts Aug.6 so she has little time to hammer out a new contract. TMZ is speculating that she will ask for something around $4.5 mil a year. Does she deserve it? Speak up in our comments section.

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Links that are without contract

John Mayer is a douche- IDLYITW

Kevin Jonas proves he has a sex drive- Allie Is Wired

Condaleeza Rice nude pic? Doubtful- Drunken Stepfather

John Mayer is narcissistic- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

LiLo got a job- IDLYITW

In a new interview with Ladies’ Home Journal Paula Abdul admits to using a drug more powerful than morphine to kill pain in her neck she got when she was 17 years old. Apparently she was just fine doing Idolall drugged up until she entered rehab during Thanksgiving last year. Basically she chose the worst format to tell people about drug addiction. I mean really what kind of weirdo goes to Ladies Home Journal to talk about drugs?

I think this sets a terrible example for kids across the country and she should be booted from American Idol immediately. Of course that won’t happen but a guy can dream. I am sure she is making these statements so people will feel sorry for her, but really it is just an opportunity to get some free press for her piece of shit song “I’m Just Here For The Music.” I am sure because of her whoring on American Idol the song will be a top downloaded song on iTunes but I wouldn’t know because I would rather listen to two cats fucking on a chalkboard than to subject my ears to one of Paula Abdul’s “songs.”

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Links that aren’t 80′s has-beens

Courteney Cox Is A Good Friend- IDLYITW

Ed Westwick guest starring on Californication – Amy Grindhouse

Heather Graham is a cowboy- Drunken Stepfather

Amy Winehouse is too busy getting crunk to get treatment- Celeb News Wire

Kristin Cavallari is still relevant- I Don’t Want Your Life

Victoria Principal is the next Phil Spector- yeeeah

Kelly Brook is back – IDLYITW

New York has a job? – Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

George Clooney defends Rande Gerber- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Elizabeth Edwards speaks out- Geno’s World

Madonna is trying to be racy. Awww, isn’t that cute. – popbytes

R.I.P. Dom Deluise- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Lady GaGa is see through- notorious news

Paula Abdul is pretty famous but she is definitely not famous for being smart. A drunken judge and a total snob yes, smart,no. So it is not surprising to hear that she was fooled by Sacha Baron Cohen during the filming of his new comedy Bruno. There is no word on what words were actually exchanged between to two celebrities, but I am willing to bet my left nut that it was funny as hell.

One prediction about the interview, Paula made gay people looks like demons and Bruno busted out a dildo sometime during the conversation. Not that Paula needed anymore of those. She already has an epic collection. Even one that she carries with her that doubles as a whiskey flask.

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Paula Abdul has been telling a lot of people lately that she is very unhappy with her spot on American Idol. According to a source close to Abdul she says Paula is, “all but done.” They just hired a new judge for the show which I do not remember the name of but I am curious as to how four judges will make a decisive decision on who goes through to who gets the axe. It’s four, they could tie. Rumors have been circulating since announcing who the new judge will be that Simon Cowell will actually be making the final decision on who makes the cut.

I seriously doubt that Paula being dissatisfied with the show has anything to do with her leaving. She is a very erratic woman and a notorious drunkard. I am sure once they got the new judge Paula got booted from the show but told her that she can make it look like she quit. Paula has a reality show and a jewelry line so her sources are saying she is not hurting for money. But I have never seen a girl wearing jewelry that has Paula’s name on it and reality shows are here and gone before they can even bring in viewers to make it successful. Paula says her main beef is with Simon Cowell. She says, ” he’s like a family member you can not get rid of.” Let’s face it, Simon Cowell doesn’t drink and that is the reason why Paula is pissed at him. At an AI after party Paula asked Simon if he could get her a new champagne cocktail and he brought her a green tea instead. Paula was treated at the hospital for glass cuts from the shattered cup in her hand.

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Links that bring their own game to the table

Marley And Me is full of hot bitches- d-listed

Lily Allen is a mess- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

An Olsen twin. But which one? – IBBB

Speidi have the Christmas spirit- Drunken Stepfather

Demi Lovato is doomed- yeeeah

Zac Efrom and Vanessa Anne Hudgens in a porn shop! – Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Nicole Richie is cutting an album- notorious news

Ashlee Simpson is bringing chin back- I Don’t Want Your Life

Sandra Bullock has a new movie- Geno’s World

Hayden Panettiere has a foot fetish- The Bastardly