Fatback Media

This is Hayden Panettiere singing(?) in a video(?) from her new album(?). Last time I checked Hayden was like 16. Boy they sure do grow up fast. I’m hoping that at least a few years have passed since she was 16 because after watching what she does in this video, I think I hear Dateline NBC at the door. PS. Is that Fergie’s voice?

Why do jailbait celebrities like JoJo insist on dressing up like grownups and confusing the shit out of me? JoJo is like 13 right? This outfit and that body are not for teenagers. I have enough trouble trying to keep Dateline NBC from showing up at my house without this shit. JoJo is extremely cute and looks like she’d date black guys (which is a plus if you’re a stud like me!) but she needs to keep that shit under wraps for a few more years so I don’t have to worry about surrendering my hard drives to authorities or what’s going to happen to my immortal soul if I keep doing the things I do to pictures like this.

UPDATE: Phew! Normally I don’t do this, but I checked Wikipedia (who’s always truthin’ like a muhfukka) and they say JoJo is 17 (she turns 18 this Christmas), so technically she’s not jail bait. In my home state of South Carolina, she’s practically an old maid. Hag.