Posts tagged Mischa Barton
Mischa Barton is a Shitty Actress, Still Fuckable
Jan 20th
Mischa Barton is one of those chicks you don’t hear about all that often but when you do hear about her, it is usually bad news. Today is no different. Mischa Barton was on the set of Law & Order: SVU and the cast basically told everyone that she is a pain in the ass to work with.
What ought to do is what most chicks who have a shitty acting career and a slammin’ body does, chill at the beach and only surface for the occasional lingerie shoot for men’s magazines. This is her career path. I am sure if she was in high school and she went to the guidance counselor her senior year to figure out what the fuck to do after high school, he/she would give her the same advice. I would offer my services to my local high school but I am blacklisted. She said she was 18, not my problem freshmen look like seniors these days.
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Mischa Barton is in the Nut House
Jul 17th
Recently Mischa Barton has been making headlines mostly for her puffy appearance since having her wisdom teeth removed which made her look like a blow fish. Don’t get me wrong she still looks hot only now she has a puffy second chin that makes it looks like her diet consists of Big Macs and nothing else. This isn’t the reason I posting this today though.
As it turns out, Mischa Barton had some sort of mental breakdown or freak out or some shit and now she is in the nut house. The technical term for the psychiatric hold is 5150. You might remember hearing that term when Brit Brit was commited but that was back in Jan. 2008 so it may have slipped your memory. Basically what 5150 means is that the person is a threat to him/herself or others and need to be taken to the looney bin involuntarily. She is now residing in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
Mischa Barton has cellulite, bad attitude
May 9th
So apparently Mischa Barton is pissed that the cellulite photos of her 22 year old cottage cheese ass hit the internet, because they were photoshopped by a meanie paparazzo. She also said that she ‘loves her curves and so does her boyfriend and that’s that‘, or something to that effect. Obviously we all know that she is no longer a hot 19 year old model, she’s a run of the mill stoner valley girl.
I think people have the wrong impression about cellulite. Lots of girls have it, even skinny girls. Some of it is genetic, but mostly it’s just stoner chicks who are too lazy to exercise after high school when their metabolism finally kicks in and they get curves in all the wrong places. A fun activity for you and your friends is to go back your high school year book and take a look at all the hotties who ate McDonalds every day and drank beer like it was water but always managed to stay tight and thin. Then go down to the mall and wait in the food court to see what nature has wrought. Exciting!
Moral of the story? Get off your ass and do some stair steppers and let your hair grow back out. You’re an embarrassment, tubby.
Micsha Barton Smoka de Dopa
Apr 11th
Weed makes chicks hot, dude. Seriously. One time this chick tried to bang me for a sack of weed. That’s hot. I felt like she was being overly whorish so I just gave her the weed. Then I banged her. Does that me me a whore? No. It’s makes me a motherfucking pimp.
