Michael Lohan has taken the next step in order to get his kid, Lindsay, sober. He hired lawyer Lisa Bloom and wrote a letter to the judge in the Lindsay Lohan DUI probation case. She is looking at facing serious jail time if convicted but Michael, along with a lot of other people, would rather see Lindsay go to rehab instead of jail.

If she doesn’t go to rehab, Michael wantys the next best thing and that is  have the court issue frequent and random drug and alcohol tests. I am sick and tired of all these die hard LiLo fans telling Michael Lohan to leave his daughter alone cause I really do like Lindsay Lohan and I would like to see her alive at least for the near future. Oh yea, and this bitch is gonna play a porn star someday soon. As long as she shows off her caboose I am happy.

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Dina Lohan and her children have had enough of Michael Lohan’s shit and now they are all getting a restraining order. According to Michael, during his TMZ interview he said that they have no legal right to get a restraining order but I guess the guy is gonna believe what he wants to believe.

Ali is still young and I seriously doubt she wants to have a restraining order against her dad but she will follow “the grand book of Hollywood” that Lindsay lays out for her so that some day she will be as famous and talentless as her big sister. As for Dina, bitch looks like she got a nose job by the same quack that did Michael Jackson.

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Michael Lohan seems to be 110% positive that Lindsay Lohan needs help. I have seen the pics of her falling down drunk every night and she is currently on probation from the court saying that she is not supposed to drink or use drugs but the court also is not requiring her to do drug or alcohol tests.

Yesterday Michael Lohan got two sheriff deputies to pay a visit with Lindsay and he accompanied them to her apartment. Strangely, the landlord just handed the keys to Lindsay’s place over to Michael and the cops. The reason they let him go in there was because Lindsay’s little sister Ali was staying with Lindsay at the time and Ali is a minor.

Afterwards, Michael went on TMZ and talked about how Lindsay needs an intervention blah,blah,blah. I am gonna take a unique viewpoint to this situation and say I am gonna team with Michael. As much as I love to see LiLo out clubbing and getting shitfaced, I think she is about one million times hotter when she is sober.

She tends to have this over constipated look on her face these days and I want the old Lindsay back. That’s right bitches. You heard it here first. Team Michael!

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Weekend links that are deeply concerned. LOL.

Whore beach- IDLYITW

Kate Gosselin is looking for some new dick- Allie Is Wired

Olivia Munn is in a bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Britney Spears’ saggy nipple pokies- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Lindsay Lohan is a suspect in a Rolex theft too- Yeeeah

Peaches Geldof out and about in Britain- Holy Moly

Hayden Panettiere cut her hair- Amy Grindhouse

Stephanie Pratt naked for PETA- IBBB

Vanessa Hudgens takes candid pics, keeps clothes on, disappoints- Celeb Jihad

See who was voted off American Idol- Daily Stab

Michael Lohan has been dating this chick named Kate Major who used to bump uglies with Jon Gosselin for a while now and now they are engaged. I don’t know if this means his netted shirt appearances will increase or decrease but this Kate chick must be desperate for some dick cause she is marrying one of the biggest losers in Hollywood.

Of course Lindsay Lohan is pissed that her dad made this decision but it is also the same Lindsay who didn’t even visit her father when he had a heart attack so as you know she doesn’t think all that much of her dad. I am still not clear on whether the Divorced Dads Club is still gonna happen but it seems that if he wants to get a little publicity about it, all he has to do is consult his girlfriend.

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Dina Lohan, Lindsay Lohan’s mother, is speaking out against the claims made by Lindsay’s gather, Michael Lohan, about Lindsay needing to go to rehab. After her show exploded with cocaine it seems that LiLo isn’t exactly sober. I personally like tran wreck Lindsay more than I like sober Lindsay but we will see if this chick ever cleans up her act.

Dina says of Michael, ” I have a criminal protective order against him until 2011.He’s 1 year behind in child support and he’s using this [ Lindsay's problems ] as a diversion”. What the fuck does Michael Lohan do? Does he have a job? Or does he just make all his bank by selling stories to RadarOnline? I am guessing the latter.

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It seems that Michael Lohan has been too busy submitting wire tapped phone calls between him and his ex-wife to Radar online and publicly bitching about his daughter’s prescription drug addiction to find some time to lift a couple weights or get any kind of excersize. He is out of shape and because of that he had a heart attack yesterday.

What grabbed my attention from the story is that TMZ heard this from Michael’s girlfriend Kate Major which is Jon Gosselin’s sloppy seconds. Gross. Anyway, I hope this guy gets well cause since LiLo is such an emo mess she would probably start cutting herself of kill herself all together if her father dies. Hang in the Mike. Radar needs you.

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Lindsay Lohan is trying to convince the world that she is not a party chick (which isn’t true) by sitting down with this reported chick from The Sun and telling her that she had a lot of past incidents with cocaine and alcohol and that she is over all that now because at the time she was “just a stupid kid” and is enjoying sobriety now.

Granted, the only reason Lindsay even thought about going public about her past incidents with booze and drugs is because her father, Michael Lohan is pleading to the public via RadarOnline.com that his daughter is strung out and need to go to rehab for a fourth time. So today Lindsay and Michael are upholding the status quo of crap the spill out to the media and tear each other down in the tabloids. Today’s headline? LiLo sober, continues tabloid battle with daddy.

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Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael Lohan is giving RadarOnline even more fuel for the vendetta they have against Lindsay Lohan. OK so Radar may not have a vendetta but they are the only site that gives Michael Lohan a soapbox. This time he is claiming that she was photographed drinking and taking pills in public.

I am not so sure about the taking pills part but she is an alcy and she probably does need rehab as she is on probation from drinking. I think three months in rehab would probably be good for her. Maybe put on a little weight and be that fuckable 18-year-old that she once was. Of course then Lindsay would have to take a break from saving Haiti but I am sure that rehab can wait. Haiti needs you Lindsay. If we didn’t have Lindsay doing photo ops for the people of Haiti, who would?

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Michael Lohan’s life is totally fubar right now. He spends 99% of his time making phone calls to his ex-wife and recording them so he can sell them to Radar Online later. He made one such phone call the other day but it wasn’t to his ex wife. It was to Erin Muller which is his ex girlfriend and she happens to have a restraining order against him.

By him calling her, he was in clear violation of the restraining order and Erin called the cops and he got arrested. I know he has a little bromance with Jon Gosselin and now that he is heading to the clink maybe he can make some bromances in there. Only they won’t be his “bro” they will be his “friend”. And by friend I mean someone who violates your anus on an hourly basis and trades your body away for cigarettes.

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Michael Lohan is desperate for attention. Seriously, I have never seen a full grown man more desperate for attention than Michael Lohan. Every week or so he sends exclusive videos and audio recordings to Radar Online and they post it as soon as they get it. The most recent thing to come from Michael is a recorded video of his ex-fiance sniffing blow.

Michael is a hypocrite because I believe with every fiber of my being that Michael has done more coke than Lindsay and Dina combined. There isn’t actually a reason behind why he released the tape. He just wanted the attention. And he is getting it here. I don’t really give a fuck that some chick I have never heard of before is doing coke. Just doesn’t interest me. But Michael Lohan addiction to fame, that interests me.

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