Fatback Media

Some chick whose name I can not pronouce so I will simply refer to her as Mel Gibson’s baby mama gave birth this Friday to a healthy baby girl. They are engaged but there is no set date for the wedding and if memory serves correctly, Mel is not divorced yet and will have to battle it out in court for his share of over $900 million.

The one thing I do know about his soon to be wife is that she is very VERY hot. Of course Mel Gibson was once People’s sexiest man alive so it is no surprise to me that he can land a hot chick. What I do not understand is why you would want to keep having more and more kids. Isn’t one enough. Better yet isn’t a dog enough. Either way you are eating up a shitload of time and money so you may as well get a “man’s best friend” out of it.

Regardless, I do not feel the least bit sorry for this kid. She will grow up as American royalty and will have a healthy inheritance once her dad kicks the bucket. That isn’t too far away so it would behoove her to get on her dads good side now and make sure he remembers her name because if he is too delusional to remember her name for a will entry, she may just be SOL.

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Mel Gibson is a very important person. Drunk but important. Him and his pregnant girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva went to a new L.A. nightclub called Playhouse and went to the VIP section to chill and relax for a bit. Well they weren’t relaxing when some freak approached them and started snapping pics. Mel’s bodyguard took  the camera and deleted the pictures.

After that Mel got upset and, according to a source, “Mel approached the guy who tried to take his picture and ripped his shirt.” Apparently the guy is such a big fan of Gibson that he has dropped the assault charges that he initially pressed against the actor. If I ever met Mel Gibson I wouldn’t try to snap his picture. I would pull down his shirt and lick his back. I hear he is like a licking toad that when you lick it’s back it makes you hallucinate. It is the same deal with Gibson only when you like his back you get hammered. Yes. That is what I would do.

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Mel Gibson has been proudly showing off his newly found piece of ass recently. As he should. But just because you are Mel Gibson’s girlfriend and are pregnant with his child, doesn’t mean you should be a celebrity yourself. Oksana Grigorieva, whose last name I hate typing, is releasing a new cd called Beautiful Heartbreak. Who’s heartbreak she is talking about I am not sure, and if Mel kicks her to the street and breaks her heart, will it be beautiful?

The first single off the cd is called “Say My Name” which sounds like a kick ass song as long as it is about kinky sex. Of course if I were hitting that and all of a sudden she blurted out, “say my name” then I would probably go limp in 0.2 seconds because she has such a strange and unsexy name. So if you like new music and love d-lister, check for her song on iTunes. I doubt she will sell many copies, but she will be playing the cd full blast while dancing and lip syncing around the house for the next few months. Congrats Mel! You really know how to pick em.

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