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People were speculating as recent as a week ago that Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green might be engaged which was a let down to a lot of horny perverts around the world. But now it is being reported that Megan Fox has moved out of Brian Austin Green’s home and is now living in a hotel. Brian is upset because his son Cassius doesn’t want her to go. I wouldn’t want her to go either.

But fuck the son. He will pull through. Buck up kid. When my mom moved out when I was 10 the only question on my mind was, am I still going to get my full allowance? Things could be worse. But for perverts like myself, things could not be looking any better. Hopefully Megan will celebrate her new found freedom with a skinny dip in the hotel pool. But if that doesn’t happen we can settle for these Megan Fox paparazzi pics below.

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Links that do not own a bra

Gemma Atkinson and her gigantic rack- IDLYITW

Tori Spelling is skinny. But that is a good thing. – IBBB

Jordan should probably just stay away from children- Holy Moly

Scarlett Johansson’s tits hit Vogue- Drunken Stepfather

Which one os the dog? – I Don’t Want Your Life

It costs Katie Holmes $60,000 to look good- yeeeah

Amanda Bynes has a great ass- IDLYITW

LiLo is spending all of SamRo’s cash- Celeb News Wire

Tara Reid pulls a Mariah Carey- popbytes

Jade Goody died of cancer- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

The hot chick from The Wonder Years got married- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Shannon Doherty talks about her return to 90210. – Geno’s World

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Lauren Conrad’s fashion line- Allie Is Wired

Amy Winehouse’s new songs rejected by record label- notorious news

Well, pervs around the world can start crying and cursing their maker now. Megan Fox is off the market. That douche bag Brian Austin Green gave the world the best blessing the world can ask for and broke up with Megan Fox. Then they stayed friends and were apparently fuck buddies which I did not care about, but now it is being reported that they are in fact an item again.

Not only are they back together, and the engagement might still be on, but they are actually in couples therapy so a break up will not happen again. A source tells In Touch weekly, ” It was a mutual decision. Lots of couples go to therapy together, and they are commited to try and make it work.” What a bunch of bullshit. Brian Austin Green has a little pecker and will never satisfy Megan Fox. It is me you need. Me and my 11 inch penis. Oh God, I need to wipe away these tears. I still need to go out into the world and live.

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If Megan Fox was trying to look like she wasn’t the hottest girl that has ever lived, well sir, she has FAILED. Miserably. Even other hot chicks don’t even fight it anymore. They just sigh and try to act gracious when they call her “pretty”, then they go home and cry and fuck ugly dudes just to ride the tiger by the tail and feel special again for a minute or two. Megan Fox is what the ancient druids called “Stonehenge-ish” (magically hot enough to cause an erection of monolithic stone). I bet right after she has sex with Brian Austin Green he can read minds and see into the future a little bit. She’s the closest thing to god we’ll ever be able to look at. Or… follow home from the Ivy after she visited that cute little shop on Rodeo where she bought a SHAZAM novelty t-shirt that you just know will go great with those new skinny jeans that she just put into the dryer. I had no idea that you could buy a blue clothes dryer. I’ll need to check BestBuy.com when I get home.