Posts tagged Megan Fox
Megan Fox Moves Out
Mar 23rd
People were speculating as recent as a week ago that Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green might be engaged which was a let down to a lot of horny perverts around the world. But now it is being reported that Megan Fox has moved out of Brian Austin Green’s home and is now living in a hotel. Brian is upset because his son Cassius doesn’t want her to go. I wouldn’t want her to go either.
But fuck the son. He will pull through. Buck up kid. When my mom moved out when I was 10 the only question on my mind was, am I still going to get my full allowance? Things could be worse. But for perverts like myself, things could not be looking any better. Hopefully Megan will celebrate her new found freedom with a skinny dip in the hotel pool. But if that doesn’t happen we can settle for these Megan Fox paparazzi pics below.
[ Images via ]
Links that do not own a bra
Gemma Atkinson and her gigantic rack- IDLYITW
Tori Spelling is skinny. But that is a good thing. – IBBB
Jordan should probably just stay away from children- Holy Moly
Scarlett Johansson’s tits hit Vogue- Drunken Stepfather
Which one os the dog? – I Don’t Want Your Life
It costs Katie Holmes $60,000 to look good- yeeeah
Amanda Bynes has a great ass- IDLYITW
LiLo is spending all of SamRo’s cash- Celeb News Wire
Tara Reid pulls a Mariah Carey- popbytes
Jade Goody died of cancer- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
The hot chick from The Wonder Years got married- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Shannon Doherty talks about her return to 90210. – Geno’s World
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Lauren Conrad’s fashion line- Allie Is Wired
Amy Winehouse’s new songs rejected by record label- notorious news
God Damn It!
Mar 11th
Well, pervs around the world can start crying and cursing their maker now. Megan Fox is off the market. That douche bag Brian Austin Green gave the world the best blessing the world can ask for and broke up with Megan Fox. Then they stayed friends and were apparently fuck buddies which I did not care about, but now it is being reported that they are in fact an item again.
Not only are they back together, and the engagement might still be on, but they are actually in couples therapy so a break up will not happen again. A source tells In Touch weekly, ” It was a mutual decision. Lots of couples go to therapy together, and they are commited to try and make it work.” What a bunch of bullshit. Brian Austin Green has a little pecker and will never satisfy Megan Fox. It is me you need. Me and my 11 inch penis. Oh God, I need to wipe away these tears. I still need to go out into the world and live.
[ Images via ]
Megan Fox Is Kinda Pretty
Nov 19th
If Megan Fox was trying to look like she wasn’t the hottest girl that has ever lived, well sir, she has FAILED. Miserably. Even other hot chicks don’t even fight it anymore. They just sigh and try to act gracious when they call her “pretty”, then they go home and cry and fuck ugly dudes just to ride the tiger by the tail and feel special again for a minute or two. Megan Fox is what the ancient druids called “Stonehenge-ish” (magically hot enough to cause an erection of monolithic stone). I bet right after she has sex with Brian Austin Green he can read minds and see into the future a little bit. She’s the closest thing to god we’ll ever be able to look at. Or… follow home from the Ivy after she visited that cute little shop on Rodeo where she bought a SHAZAM novelty t-shirt that you just know will go great with those new skinny jeans that she just put into the dryer. I had no idea that you could buy a blue clothes dryer. I’ll need to check BestBuy.com when I get home.
Megan Fox..can;t typ wid wun hand!@*
Sep 16th
This is Megan Fox shooting a spread for the new GQ. Wonder what it’s like to wake up as the hottest chick on earth? I used to ask your mom that. What a whore! There is a video for this (LINK) but I wouldn’t click it at work unless you don’t mind spontaneously fondling your junk at your cubicle. I personally have no problem with it. But somebody needs to get their cute little ass back into the HR office and stop judging.
OMFG UPDATE: So apparently this GQ article reports that Megan Fox got freaky with girl. A RUSSIAN STRIPPER NAMED NIKITA.
“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided – oh man, sorry, mommy! – that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop,” Fox said. “I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita.”
Fox said Nikita would do “these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads.” She added that she would bring the Russian stripper gifts and try to inspire her to quit her line of work.
Despite the relationship, Fox said she does not identify herself as gay.
“Look, I’m not a lesbian,” she went on. “I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes.
“I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl – Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands,” she continued. “She’s mesmerizing. And lately I’ve been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but … oh boy.” (US)
If you’ll excuse me, I just fucking died.
See the video here and be prepared to prematurely lose your junk.
