Maggie Gyllenhaal is off the market and from looking at the photo above, that is a good thing. No, but seriously she is actually smokin’ hot and I wish I had a chance to tap that but I won’t get such chance because she is married some douche bag named Peter Sarsgaard. What is with the double a’s?  The tied the knot this weekend in Italy and her reps said, “We are happy to confirm that Maggie and Peter were married on Sat, May 2.”

What the fuck? She gets married during the Kentucky Derby? What fun is that? How can you focus on nuptiuls when you don’t know if your life savings is going down the toilet or if you just made yourself rich? While all the “cool” celebrities were drinking mint juleps in the heart of the south, these two jerks were saying “I do” in another country. Do they own a house in Italy? Is she shooting a movie there? Why would anyone wanna get married in the spaghetti capitol of the world?

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