Fatback Media

What do you call a girl who sees somebody she’s banged every where you take her?

Lindsay Lohan was recently in an awkward situation at the Apple Lounge in West Hollywood (west siiiide) with her girlfriend Samantha Ronson because several ex-lovers showed up.

“Lindsay chatted with her ex Harry Morton for a few minutes,” a witness explains about the first encounter. “Sam wasn’t thrilled.” Lindsay, 22, was there to support her live-in galpal, who was deejaying the event. But before the night was over, another of Lindsay’s exes, Calum Best, showed up, followed by former girlfriend Courtenay Semel. Although Lindsay’s rep says, “It wasn’t awkward for her to be with all of her exes,” a witness says, “That was definitely enough drama for Lindsay. She made sure the rest of the night was very mellow, drinking little as she smoked and stuck by Sam’s side.” “Lindsay reassured Sam,” a witness says, “by gently rubbing her lower back whenever they were alone.” (InTouch)

God, I’ve seen bukkake gangbangs with less dicks than Lindsay’s had inside her. Is there anything left that she hasn’t fucked? It’s probably a bad sign when your new girlfriend sees people she’s fucked every time she leaves the house. So what do you call a girl like that? A cab. Whore.

Here’s Lindsay being my truie hero by refusing to wear a bra. Also, in that last pic: WTF happened in that car? It looks like a 7-11 dumpster. I bet there’s a stillborn baby undr those Cheez-its.

Lindsay Lohan’s former lesbian lover, Courtenay Semel (daughter of former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel) is revealing the torrid details of their affair and totally not trying to get publicity from it. At all. Really. You may remember Courtenay from great roles such as “Bratty Kid” in Hudson Hawk or “herself” on Kim Kardashian’s show.

Courtenay’s pal explained: “She met Lindsay in the summer of 2006 at a party in Malibu.

“From the start Lindsay was very confused about her feelings for Courtenay so did more and more drugs to stifle the sexual attraction she was experiencing.

“But eventually she just gave in and at every party they’d kiss and touch each other in the corner. It’s a miracle nobody found out.

“Both of them would do lines of cocaine in the toilets then head home and fall into bed together.”(NOTW)

This is a way better story than Lindsay Lohan banging Samantha Ronson. This chick Courtenay Semel is definitely doable, especially when you throw another sexually confused coked out hot chick into the mix. That reminds me of the time I wrote that letter to Penthouse. Let’s just say that the bathroom at the 7-11 on 10th Ave in Myrtle Beach will never be the same.

So…they are gay right? Camilla Belle and Maria Sharapova have been BFF’s for a while now. So much so that sources say that they may be having sensuous erotic girl on girl sexy relations. Top sources include me and my cock/balls.

Also in attendance were Camilla Belle and Maria Sharapova, who talked tennis and clothes. “This is my first couture show,” enthused Sharapova, while Belle raved about recently attending the Wimbledon tennis tournament in London. (WWD)

Again. In the immortal words of Laverne: MMmmm-hmm. Camilla’s at Wimbeldon cheering Maria on, Camilla’s at a fashion show cheering Maria on, Camilla’s on my couch cheering Maria on. Wait, that last part was written by Mortimer Ichabod Marker in my Judy Blume ‘Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing’ Diary. He can be such kidder!