Fatback Media

I really could give a flying fuck less about these pictures. Who Robert Pattinson is putting his dirty wiener into is really none of my business and actually kind of makes me wanna gag a little bit. This story is the talk of the town right now. Everyone already pretty much knew Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were dating but this just kind of confirms it.

Technically they are not holding hands. Robert is holding onto a hat and Kristen is failingly gripping his wrist. I don’t blame him, that hat is worth more than Kristen Stewart’s life 10 times over. They seem happy but that is more likely due to the fact that they both just got done hitting on a blunt than it does “true love”. Once these two take a shower,quit drugs and get a role in a movie that is worth a damn, then I will care who is dating who.

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Kristen Stewart was prodded for like the 18 millionth time about if she is or isn’t having an off stage romance with her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson. I am personally hoping that those two keep their greasy selves to themselves because I would probably gag if I saw Kristen making out with a “regular”, “clean” guy.

I would make the joke that they are swapping STDs but let’s face it, these two filthy greaseballs have not slept with anyone other than each other. She was half joking when she was asked and said, “We are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.” This would actually be good news for me. Cause then she could hook up with a relatively good looking and normal lesbian and they wouldn’t need and lubricant to get the job done. Kristen could just run her fingers through her oily hair and the other, lesser, unknowing lesbian would just think she has some new cool oil dispensing weave. Watching the two of them have sex would be like throwing a pint of motor oil into a bucket of water and watching all the pretty waves pollute the purity.

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