Fatback Media

Selah! Finally. After performing for millions of horny teenage girls and turning them down for sex at every turn, Kevin Jonas is going to get married and finally, FINALLY, get some tail. I am so happy for this little man. Yes the Jonas Brothers suck but what erks me is the fact that Disney is forcing them to wear promise rings. These little things you put on your finger to state that you will not have sex before marriage.

And the piece of tail he is pulling in isn’t that bad either. The first thing I thought of when I saw her is that she looks like a latino Ashley Tisdale. I would totally hit that shit. She has a name but I won’t bother typing it because there is no chance of her going back on the market anytime soon. That is the thing about good religious goody goodys like Kevin Jonas, once they are married, they are married FOR LIFE.

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