I don’t know where to start with this one, kids. First, Kelly Brook is ridiculously pretty but her dress looks like the one my “confirmed bachelorette” great aunt Lucille used to wear at the pool when I was kid. She sure could throw a baseball. The shoes are hot but what’s up with GD gloves, Howard Hughes? If she was going for Old Hollywood chic, she failed. She looks like she works in a lab with the guy from SAW III. If Kelly Brook came at me naked with those gloves on, I’d be checking the floor for a plastic drop cloth and scanning for exits. Also, in pic 2, apparently Kelly Brook is seven feet tall. But I think can still take her.

More naked Kelly Brook than you can shake a stick at and some helpful links for you slackers.

• Gogo Whoredom: Jeri Lee | Dirty Rotten Whore
• S.S. Shauna Sand Bikini Pictures
• Irina Sheik – Paris Capitale Magazine | The Bastardly
• The Hayden Panettiere Hates Nerd Germs of the Day
• Elizabeth Hurley Scores Reality Show | Allie Is Wired
• Guess Who? Banana Dress Edition | Bumpshack.com
• “Witness told Shia LaBeouf to flee the crash scene” links
• The Golden Age of Cate Blanchett’s Bazooms
• I never knew a penguin could make me feel this way
• Simone Villas Boas
• DJ Tanner: No Longer a Geek Burger:
• Kelly Brook pics from this post

This is Kelly Brook, whom you may not recognize here because she’s usually in a bikini and/or naked and for some reason she’s dressed like someone’s mom. Maybe she thinks she’s so hot that she can wear clothes circa Magnum PI and pull it off. Maybe she thinks dressing like my mom is the way to my heart. Well it’s not Kelly. Not even if you were driving a green reliant K car and smoking a Kool menthol.

• X Marks the Nips
• Miley Cyrus wants Hannah Montana to be like Sex & The City
• Becki Newton @ 19th Annual GLAAD Media Award | The Bastardly
• Summer Glau see thru
• Seriously? – Webster’s Is My Bitch
• Heather Locklear Stuffs Her Uterus Back in
• Mariah Carey Is Engaged to Nick Cannon at Yeeeah!
• Mila Kunis = Hottie of the day
• Nelly and Hedi Montag?
• i dont want your life . com » khloe kardashian is frank farmer
• Hilary Duff may star in remake of Beverly Hills 90210! (and more)
• America’s Top Model Recap
• The Hills Have Sex
• GOSSIP GIRL Spoilers…Anyone?
• Ashley Dupré Is So Not Getting That $10-Million at Deceiver.com
• John Lennon’s Murderer Loves Lindsay Lohan » Gone Hollywood
• Zombie Strippers

Kelly Brook just broke up with Billy Zane. While, I’m saddened by the fact that Billy will now have to serve Satan for eternity because his deal has expired, mostly I’m just saying, holyfuckyes!.

The 28-year-old former Big Breakfast presenter has decided she is too young to marry.

Billy, 42, is now moving back to Los Angeles for good after moving out of their £1million farmhouse in Kent.

A source told The Sun: “After much soul-searching, Kelly decided that Billy is not the man she wants to marry and has called off the engagement. (Daily Mail)

Now if you please, Kelly and I would appreciate your prayers and a little privacy while we break some biblical taboos.

Oh, if you’ve forgotten what Kelly Brook looks like naked you can look into my bedroom. Or Go here (NSFW)