I am not sure why Kara DioGuardi thought it was necessary to take off all her clothes for an Allure magazine photo shoot but here she is. She started her whole “I’m old but sexy thing” when she wore a bikini on American Idol next to bikini girl and I was too busy looking at bikini girl to even care Kara was alive.

However now she is naked and covering her goody bits and I gotta admit that she looks pretty good. Which is saying something cause she is like 50 but still totally fuckable. The pic above is a little bit NSFW but not NSFW enough to go in the NSFW section. Enjoy the NSFWness of Kara DioGuardi naked.

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Some people out there think American Idol is a superficial show and don’t watch it. I am half way there. I think it is a superficial show but I still watch it. Rumors have been going around about Paula Abdul possibly making $20 million for the next season of Idoland it has already been confirmed that Simon Cowell is getting $145 mil a year which is like 5 pesos in the UK.

Ryan Seacrest signed a three year deal with Idolworth $45 mil. Now it has been confirmed that Kara DioGuardi is coming back. That is how insignificant she is. When she signed her contract people weren’t concerned with how much money she will be getting, they just wanted to know if she would be coming back at all. A source says, “Her deal is done. There are no ifs,and or buts. Done. She will be back.” I have no beef with Kara DioGuardi. She is like Paul only less drunk and less nice. I hope next season she will actually make a nice chunk of change like the other staff but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

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Kara DioGuardi doesn’t exactly fit in with all of the other American Idol judges. She is kind of the dark horse. Of course being a dark horse would mean she is a really good AI judge and that for now she is just misunderstood and will eventually prove herself. I don’t believe this.

In an interview on ABC’s The Viewone of those cunts asked her if she thought that Adam Lambert was gay. She said, ” I don’t think that Adam [Lambert] was ever in [the closet].” But this dipshit had to know that people have been speculating about his sexuality for weeks and he hasn’t publicly said he is gay yet. This is just another train wreck judge stepping on her own tongue. Before Paula was a drunken mess who couldn’t keep her trap shut but since AI has deemed her a drunken invalid that is too fucked up to function, they hired Kara to make all the press.

I personally would wish that Adam would just own up and say “yea I’m gay.” One report speculated that if Adam won it would be because he is gay and that if he lost it would be because he is gay. I think people voted genuinely last week and voted for who they thought was the better singer. Or musician as a whole. And I agree, Kris Allen has more talent. This story isn’t about Adam Lambert being gay or straight. It is about how Kara is a moron and can’t shut her mouth when it is more important. Congratulations Kara. I will probably not be seeing you next year. Kara= FAIL.

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Bikini girl, a.k.a. Katrina Darrell returned to American Idol last night and showed off her killer breast implants. Maybe I am an old fashioned kind of guy but I think she looked amazing without breast implants, but bigger is always better. She won some sort of award for being annoying or some shit. Also during her first meeting with the judges she told Kara DioGuardi that her version of the song she was singing wasn’t any better than the version she had just sang.

Kara’s old skanky ass didn’t like this and took revennge on bikini girl by interrupting Katrina’s performance and singing the song over bikini girl. And then the grossest thing in American Idolhistory occurred. Kara ripped open her dress to reveal she was wearing a bikini underneath. She had  a wrinkled belly like Tara Reid and of course she has pretty boring breasts. It was like seeing Ellen DeGeneres in a bikini. It is just not a thing men want to see. I puked a little bit, but regained my composure in time to see Kris Allen win it all.

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If you watched American Idol last night and you are male that means that your eyes were plastered to the American Idol bikini girl. Her name? Sara Bikini Girl? After bikini girl sung, and did a horrible job at it, during group week she posed and smiled for the cameras like any true attention whore would. After the judges voted her off the show she walked off the stage with a 3 mile Steven Tyler smile. That provoked Kara DioGuardi or as she is known in some circles as the judge who isn’t Paula Abdul called her a bitch.

Under her breath of course, not to her face. After being voted off the show bikini girl pretty much told her Idol team contestants that she was voted off the show because of them but she was still all smiles. I am sure she is ready and willing to stay in the national spot light and if she plays her cards right she will be. I just hate seeing people go from American Idol  to complete obscurity. Kind of like that chick a couple of seasons ago who could sing just like Britney Spears but was voted off and was never to be heard from again. My penis doesn’t like that. He knows I am talking about him. He doesn’t like that either. I better quit talking about him before he detaches himself from my body.

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Links that look great in a bikini

The “b team” of The Hills – IBBB

Jordan going for a fake jog- Drunken Stepfather

Madonna is jealous of her own kid- IDLYITW

Step Brothers sucks- Holy Moly

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Kristen Stewart: still a pot head- Allie Is Wired

Stardust Kids mash up- popbytes

There is a gay New Kid On The Block. Gasp!- Celeb News Wire

Denise Richards is joining Dancing With The Stars- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Sarah Palin vs. Ashley Judd- Geno’s World

Vanessa Anne Hudgens performing for… Sears? – I Don’t want Your Life

Emily Scott does Zoo magazine- yeeeah

Jessica Alba isn’t really that thin- notorious news