Posts tagged Justin Timberlake
Jessica Biel Is Back On The Market, Again
Apr 11th
Justin Timberlake is a douchebag extraordinaire so it is no surprise that he would let a 24 karat piece of ass like Jessica Biel slip through his fingers. Maybe he will go crawling back to that ancient troll Cameron Diaz and get him some granny pussy. In the meantime, I will do everything in my power to stalk Jessica Biel on a daily basis.
I saw her incredible ass in Powder Blue and ever since then I have been dying to catch a glimpse of her vajayjay. Maybe I will get lucky when I am sitting in a tree outside her house with a zoom lens digital camcorder. This of course will take time away from the other celebrities I stalk and Biel lives so far away from them. Damn it Jessica! Are you actually going to make me work?!
Jessica Biel is Back on the Market
Jan 13th
Justin Timberlake is a very smart man. He decided to split with his girlfriend when it was totally impossible for her to punch him in the nose. He broke up with her while she is climbing Mount Kilamonjaro. Not sure if I spelled that right but I really don’t give a shit. Biel is a hoss woman and I wouldn’t put it past her to beat the shit out of the frail Timberlake if they split, say, in a restaurant.
The good news is that the failing actress is now open to any douche in the club to hit on her. I bet you could get in her panties if you talked about lifting weights or kickboxing. Me, I am going to stay far away. The more desperate she gets, the more clothes she will take off in films. She just did a nude scene in Powder Blue but you didn’t get full frontal so I am waiting for that to happen. And when it does, you will see it in the NSFW section. I guarantee it.
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Links that can bench press 210
Heidi Montag wants you to eat her panties- IDLYITW
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Big Brother seems to be big in the U.K.- Holy Moly
Brangelina may split. God I hope it is true this time- popbytes
Tila Tequila’s phone number leaked on Twitter- Amy Grindhouse
American Idol recap- IBBB
Kate Gosselin is getting a new reality show- notorious news
Jay Leno wants to be Conan O’Brien- IDLYITWÂ
Sasha Grey is nude for PETA- Fatback Media (NSFW)
Get Crunk With JT
Mar 19th
Justin Timberlake is seen as a cool guy in a lot of peoples eyes. I just think of him as that douche bag who got to bang Britney Spears when she was still hot. To show even more people that he is a cool guy he is releasing a new type of tequila called 901. Of course since JT is such a trendy guy you can only buy it in LasVegas, Los Angeles, New York and St.Louis.
I saw a picture of this tequila and it is that clear crap that party girls dink in their margaritas because realtequila looks ugly. What is with the strange name? Justin’s spokesperson said, ” 901 is that time of night when your evening is ending, but your night is just beginning. It is also a subtle nod to his hometown.” Of course the name means nothing. The only way to truly test a brand of hard liquor is to serve it to drunk college girls and see how quickly they shed their clothing. If they have been drunk for more than 10 minutes and they haven’t shed at least two items of clothing, the drink has failed. I will do my own field test of 901 this Friday night. If it doesn’t work, instead of trying to get my money back, I will track down JT and smash the bottle over his head.
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Brit, J.T. and Madge To Perform Together
Nov 6th
Well it is gonna be a blowout tonight at Dodger Stadium. We all remember Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera performing on stage and kissing Madonna at the MTV Music Awards or whatever the fuck that was. Now Brit Brit, J.T. and Madge will be raising the roof tonight. No word yet on weather or not there will be lesbian kissing but a guy can hope can’t he?
This thing is gonna go up in flames. Sometimes pop musicians try to out do themselves and end up in the long run just looking like idiots. Ryan Gaycrest had this to say, ” If Britney and Justin end up on that stage with her… I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything quite like that before.” This is a guy who hosts American Idol and sees 10 killer performances a night by some of the most talented kids in the country and now he is saying that Brit, J.T. and Madge is gonna be something he has never seen before? How shallow is this motherfucker?
I am sure after the concert was announced Gaycrest jumped up and down with his limp wrists flapping in the wind and he peed in his pants a little bit.
