Posts tagged Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson Is Coming Back To T.V. Nooooooooooooooooo!
May 27th
Not getting her kicks in the country music field, which I am not surprised about, Jessica Simpson wants to try her luck again on television. This time instead of a show starring two sexy newlyweds and their sexy life in their gated community, this one will be about how Jessica is a bit over weight now and her views on what is and isn’t beautiful in the worlds different cultures.
This sounds like a piece of crap. Not only will the pilot not take off, I doubt any real television station would even seriously consider it. The thing is, it has been too long. Jessica gained a few pounds, and still looked hot, but everyone thought it was just a publicity stunt to get more attention and then stage a “how I lost my weight” magazine shoot. Now people thinks she just has an eating disorder. Don’t get me wrong I would still totally bang her, but this time I need to put a twinky on a stick in front of her when I do her from behind. It is about the only way I can keep her attention.
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Links that hate both big and small screen
Mel Gibson has 8 kids now- IDLYITW
Larry King is old and stupid- Amy Grindhouse
Jodie Marsh is a body builder now- yeeeah
Heather Graham bored by strippers- Celeb News Wire
Starbucks has some solid competition- Drunken Stepfather
Michael Lohan arrested for death threats- Holy Moly
Shoot it! – IDLYITW
Ashley Tisdale. Whatever. She’s hot. – notorious news
If you cherish your ears, you won’t watch this video- Geno’s World
Avril Lavigne is in a bikini- I Don’t Want Your Life
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Monster Chris Brown says he’s not a monster- Allie Is Wired
Harriet Carter wednesday- IBBB
Angelina Jolie might be pregnant. Maybe she’s not. Maybe she is. – popbytes
Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig are going to do Broadway together. – Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Jessica Simpson Fails At Country
Apr 8th
A lot of people are annoyed by Jessica Simpson. Mostly for the fact that she just won’t go away. I remember when her career started and she had one, ONE, hit song. So basically she is a one hit wonder who is doing everything in her power to suck every second out of her 15 minutes of fame. News is coming out today, well yesterday really, that Jessica Simpson got dropped by her record label. Remember this isn’t some teen pop star record label, this is a reputable country record label.
Usually when you think of a big name like Jessica Simpson, you wouldn’t imagine that she would stoop to the level of opening for another singer/band. But that is exactly what she did. She opened for the Rascal Flatts and she was so bummed out about the nightly performances, she went to Cabo instead of the country music awards. Apparently on a nightly basis Jessica fumbled the lyrics and was greeted by booing crowds. The chick just sucks. At everything. Don’t get me wrong I totally wanna bang her and she is very good at looking pretty. But I think it is time she take a new career path. Pop music=fail.Country music= fail. Movies= fail. Pornography= best selling porn since Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson went on a vacation.
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Jessica Simpson Splits Her Jeans On Stage
Feb 13th
A lot of people say I should go easy on the big people. That it is genetics or whatever. But when you are a chick like Jessica Simpson, you know genetics is not the reason for her weight gain. Also, she is a celebrity and gets a lot of public scrutiny. If she doesn’t want to be made fun of then she should stay out of the lime light. Another reason to “dis” the singer is that she is a total snob. She could give a regular guy a break and give him her phone number or go on tv and tell people how she is raising money for charity. But no.
Now the restraining order tells me I can not go anywhere near the star so I can not ask her these questions myself. But someone out there should ask. Why the fuck are you on such a high horse? Jessica is playing off this weight gain thing as something silly that she can laugh at. But most of the viewing public isn’t laughing. She says, ” I’ve had times when my pants split right down the middle when I bent down to reach a note.” Haha! Everyone laugh and point! What note anyway? Is she so dense that she can’t even remember the 3 string wonders someone else wrote for her? I could say something witty right now but I don’t wanna kill the buzz of laughing at Jessica Simpson when the denim tears on her ass when she tries to remember what the hell to do on stage. More pics of Jessica and her fat pooper below.
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Links that don’t sing or dance but have a sweet little ass
Aubrey O’Day is on the cover of Playboy- IBBB
Chris Brown speaks out on Facebook- Allie Is Wired
Kate Moss is see through and pregnant? – Drunken Stepfather
Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria are going to kiss! – Celeb News Wire
Tommy Chong is friendly- IDLYITW
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Gwyneth Paltrow likes being the naked- Geno’s World
Katherine Heigl isn’t leaving Grey’s Anatomy because she is too ugly to work anywhere else- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Lily Allen hates pants- yeeeah
Jane Russell used to be hot- popbytes
Ivana Trump still thinks she’s young- Holy Moly
Fathead speaks out- I Don’t Want Your Life
The Jonas Brothers do Letterman- notorious news
Jessica Simpson Is A Shitty Singer, Oh Yea And Fat
Feb 6th
Not only is Jessica Simpson’s weight increasing, but her singing career is getting worse and worse. During a Grand Rapids show she only did a 38 minute set list. Maybe 38 minutes is the longest her cankles will support her weight. She managed to fuck up several songs during the concert. During the song “With You” she paused to take a drink of water and the back up vocals had to sing the lead words and she had to restart the song “Pray Out Loud” because she was so distracted.
She then was singing her new single “Come On Over” and completely forgot the lyrics. Afterwards she apologized to the audience and mouth the word sorry on the big screen. What a fucking dunce. Finally after introducing her song “Do You Know” she told the audience that she felt like walking off stage. After the songs was finished she was seen wiping away tears as she made her exit. Some people feel sorry for her but I never will. She is a full blown snob and never seems grateful that she has the fans that she has. As few as they may be. I’d still pork her though. Don’t get me wrong. Even with that extra baby fat I would still hit that shit six ways a Sunday. I just wanted to clarify that.
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Links that wear a size 2
Our favorite attention whores work out- IBBB
Paul Walker gets some teenage tail- IDLYITW
I love Salma Hayek’s breasts- d-listed
Vanessa Anne Hudgens is hairy- yeeeah
Elisabeth Hasslebeck is offensive- Allie Is Wired
Isla Fisher is the only reason to seeConfessions Of A Shopoholic- Holy Moly
Kim Kardashian has a big tasty ass- I Don’t Want Your Life
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Jennifer Aniston will get artificially inseminated in real life in a movie- Celeb News Wire
Hanging with Paris Hilton in London- Drunken Stepfather
American Idol’s bikini girl. We’ll be hearing from her for a long time- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
This is the closest we will ever get to a Fergie sex tape- Geno’s World
Kellogg’s drops Michael Phelps- notorious news
