Posts tagged Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson Has Moved On
Oct 14th
You may have remember a few weeks ago me writing on here that Jessica Simpson’ dog, a malti poo (gay name), was abducted by a Coyote straight out of the backyard at Jessica Simpson’ L.A. home. I found the story to be hysterical and it still is but now Jessica has pulled herself together and is talking openly about the loss of her pooch.
She tells Us magazine, ” I haven’t really thought about a new dog yet, but maybe sometime. [Daisy] would want that.” How the fuck does she know what a dog would want let alone a dead dog? This is just some dumb shit celebrities say to take edge off the fact that they are replacing a loved one with a trip to the dog pound as if she ripped an expensive sweater and replaces it with a newer brighter sweater.
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Links that are not easily replaced
Lindsay is on top of the world- IDLYITW
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Leona Lewis was attacked- Holy Moly
More bad LiLo news- popbytes
Melanie Brown confirms Spice Girls reunion- Amy Grindhouse
The Hills recap- IBBB
January Jones lights up GQ- notorious news
It’s Blake Lively again- IDLYITW
Lucy Pinder is topless,grainy- Fatback Media (NSFW)
Hahahahahahahaha!
Sep 15th
This cheers me right the fuck up. Yesterday Jessica Simpson was outdoors with the dog Nick Lachey gave her for birthday/Christmas/anniversary gift. I am not really sure. And it was snatched by a coyote right in front of her eyes! Haha! Hysterical! She is very distraught and it hanging all of these little signs (pictured above) all over the city to see if anyone has seen her malti-poo.
First off that is a disgusting breed name for a dog. I am thinking about e-mailing the e-mail address on the missing poster and telling her the dog is here and is perfectly safe, then when she comes to pick the dog up, hand her a bag of goat intestines and blood. I personally am not a big fan of the miniature dogs celebrities are obsessed with. I prefer a big dog. Or at least a more muscular dog. Like a Boston Terrier. They would beat the living fuck out of a malti-poo. Speaking of dogs fighting, I wonder what Michael Vick would have to say about the coyote.
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Links that were ripped to shreds
Respect- IDLYITW
Michael Moore compares Wall Street to the mob- Geno’s World
Barack Obama calls Kanye west a “jackass”- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Taylor Momsen interview- I Don’t Want Your Life
Mischa Barton is hot. Crazy, but hot- yeeeah
jay Leno is popular- notorious news
Olivia Wilde does GQ- IDLYITW
Please God No…
Aug 17th
Rumors are now floating around that Jessica Simpson might be getting a role as a judge on American Idol. I don’t really see how she fits the bill but then again neither did Paula Abdul. Let’s face it, Jessica Simpson is a one hit wonder that is only still in the news because she is fucking gorgeous. If you didn’t listen to pop radio at the beginning of the century then you probably think Jessica Simpson is famous for being famous.
Nothing has been confirmed by the producers at Idol but her dad, yea her dad, is doing everything in his power to see that she gets the gig. This is the same dude who is obsessed with her breasts and thinks that she should do Playboy. She should really listen to her dad sometimes. He seems to have a lot of good information. Basically Idol is willing to hire anyone that will take $2 mil a year. I am available but when the producers heard that they each had an orgasm of joy and are currently comatose. I am waiting for them to come to and I will hear back then.
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Jessica Simpson is Back on the Market
Jul 14th
After being together for,what, over a year Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson has split. This is one particular courtship I could care less about because now that Jessica is on the market, me and everyone I know still doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell of hooking up with her. She doesn’t have a low self esteem and she knows exactly how hot she is and will land just about any stud that she wants.
However, she will be getting more hot in the months to come. Especially on the small screen, because she sucks at the big screen, with a show called The Price of Beauty. I didn’t know about the show until today but I am sure it will revolve around Jessica being a dumb, but hot, blonde who asks things like, is it chicken or fish? At which point all the desperate female teens out there that are starving themselves to look like Jessica will say OMG she is like, sooo funny! And then they will puke up their dinner.
Links that stay on the market
Kim Kardashian likes her some leather- IDLYITW
People who should never be naked are naked- Geno’s World
Ivanka Trump has got back- I Don’t Want Your Life
5 awesome deleted scenes from movies- Attu World
The travelocity gnome to titty fuck Holly Madison- yeeeah
Ashlee Simpson should think this through- IDLYITW
