I don’t know how Jim Carey feels right now but someone better make sure he is on suicide watch cause I would feel pretty damn bad Jenny McCarthy split up with me and I wouldn’t be able to tap that any time again in the near future. That’s right. Jenny McCarthy is officially back on the market.

This makes me very happy cause if some douche like Jim Carey can land her, that is pretty much open game for everyday Joes like me. She has kids so that is a turn off but that doesn’t mean her body is ruined cause I saw her naked in Playboy via post baby body and she still looked slammin’.

Source

Jenny McCarthy is reporting that she has cured her son of Autism, a puzzling disease that until Jenny’s sorcery had no known cause or cure. Stars. They’re just like us! Except way better.

Despite criticism from the American Academy of Pediatrics, Jenny McCarthy says she helped her son, Evan, recover from autism.

The actress – who believes the MMR vaccine was to blame for her son’s diagnosis – says a strict no wheat-and-dairy-free diet has changed her son from a quiet little boy who used to flail his arms around to a loving six-year-old.

“Before the vaccination, he was huggy, lovey, snuggly,” she says in the newest issue of Us Weekly. “Then it was like someone came down and stole him.” (Us)

I remember getting vaccinated as a kid and let me tell you, I was pretty pouty afterwards. My mom said we were going to Chucky Cheese for a special dinner and boy was I surprised when I ended up working in a shoe factory for 12 years. Come to think of it… maybe I didn’t get vaccinated after all.

To show my respect for Jenny’s little brat, I’m posting some sexy pictures of his mom. Wait, no. I’m doing that because I’m a dick. More naked Jenny in the NSFW section, too.