Posts tagged Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Retarded

Feb 22nd

Jennifer Love Hewitt turned 31 over the weekend and I guess she thought that she wasn’t getting any attention with her shitty little show The Ghost Whispererand banging that dipshit Jamie Kennedy so she decided to dress up in a Lady GaGa uniform. In public. I would still totally hit that shit but I have to knock off a few points from her hotness meter for wearing clothes that will be annoying to rip off of her.

I am sure Jennifer Love Hewitt will be a Lisa Rinna 2.0 and not get naked in any men’s magazine until she has wrinkles and sagging skin on her biceps. You gotta get naked when you’re young otherwise it is a waste of time. But you tell Jennifer Love Hewitt that and see what she says. “My boobies? You mean the thingys on my chest? You wanna see what? But that is my tinkle place. Get away from me. You have cooties.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt

J Love And Fiance Are Dunzo Too

Jan 6th

Posted by Tom O in Jennifer Love Hewitt

1 comment

Hot damn. It just doesn’t get any better than this. In the same day both Lindsay Lohan AND J Love come back on the market. Not that I am all that thrilled about Jennifer Love Hewitt being single again. Ever since those cellulite photos her career has pretty much gone downhill from there. Here are some pictures of her stuffing her fat face. Some girls can eat all they want and not gain any weight. Kind of like super woman Paris Hilton. But with others, it goes straight to their thighs.

As we look at the future Rosie O’DonnellJ Love let us reflect on the many possibilities of her bachelorhood. She will more than likely turn to food to comfort her. She will get some bad press and then lose the weight to regain good press. She will probably have a little rebound sex and when that happens I will write about it. She will then find someone who wants to “settle down.” And usually when a guy hears the words “settle down” it means it is a fairly easy way to get in her pants. All it takes is three words. I love you.After that it’s bang time baby. Then she will gain weight. Lose weight. And then maybe she will finally find a decent guy out there who knows how to hide a camera and thn we will have a sex tape. I just hope the filming takes place on her “fit” days and not some massive jiggly skinned cellulite monster bobbing up and down on a guys cock.