Fatback Media

For the past several years Jennifer Garner has had a stalker. He has been sending her obsessive and threatening letters in the mail and following her from coast to coast. I would like to know how he can afford to do that? I have been stalking celebrities for years and usually when they get dropped off at the airport I have to go back to my apartment and hopelessly masturbate to their pictures.

I just can’t afford the air fair. Now that Southwest airlines offers coach seats for $69 dollars, I may be able to keep up my habbits. Watch out J-Lo. As a result from all the annoying behavior, Jennifer Garner has gotten a restraining order from the stalker Steven Burky and he has to stay 100 yards away from Jen, Ben Affleck, their child Violet and the nanny. Hang in there Steven. That restraining order will expire in a few months so keep your cameras memory card empty.

Source

Links that make you cream your jeans

George Cloony has a tupe- Allie Is Wired

Who won America’s Next Top Model? - IBBB

Jennifer Ellison is topless- Drunken Stepfather

Madge is one rich bitch- notorious news

Winona Ryder went to the hospital- d-listed

Lesbian fantasy match up- The Bastardly

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Pamela Anderson wants marijuana to be legalized- Geno’s World

Katy Perry is ugly- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Jen Garner isn’t the only one with a stalker- I Don’t Want Your Life

So the hotties over at cele|bitchy got official word from Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck thatthey are indeed staying together and “100%”  not getting a divorce. At least not until I show Jennifer my sexy dance moves. [ps. look at that question mark! It's like you don't know if the story is true, but you're asking if it is. Amazing!]

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Looks like Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck might be heading for a breakup. Apparently because the married couple are not seen together very much the speculation is that they are breaking up. It’s that or, they both have jobs and maybe they’re just gone sometimes during the day. COINCIDENCE??? [ed note: Can you believe that headline? I know, right? I should work for the Post or some shit]

Terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt has come my way. Sources insist to me that Jennifer Garner is considering splitting up from her hubby, Ben Affleck. Say it ain’t so, baby-cakes! Nevertheless, waiting on comment now from both parties. Could this be the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately, rarely as one happy family unit? Perhaps. And certainly, those who know the former Alias star well insist Ben’s mama has never particularly cared for the gal who broke Michael Vartan’s heart to hook up with Benny-Boy in the first place. (E!)

So, is Ben Affleck’s mom a big Alias fan or is she calling Jennifer Garner a whore? Because if my mom called my girl a whore, I’d want to see some proof like some plastic clear high heels, or a lower back tattoo, or her sucking some guy’s cock in front of me. I’m, thorough like that.