Posts tagged Heidi Montag
Heidi Montag is A Failure…In Every Sense of the Word
Jan 20th
Heidi Montag is probably sick of being famous for being famous so she decided to earn her fame a little bit and make an album. She dumped nearly $2 mil into it but it has sold under 1,000 copies. I haven’t listened to it yet and if it is anything like her last cd then I will probably hate it.
Now that she is broke, hopefully she will revisit Playboy and show a little vag. This is my wish. But if I do not hear from her again for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t mind that either. She isn’t even a paparazzi target. She just follows them. Definitely the most pathetic attention whore I have ever seen.
Image via
Heidi Montag Might Have Had Plastic Surgery
Jan 15th
I never thought that I would want to bang Heidi Montag more than I already do but after looking at these plastic surgery before and after photos it makes me realize that I REALLY wanna bang Heidi Montag. The chick on the right looks nothing like Heidi and is hotter but believe it or not that isHeidi Montag.
The only true difference I see is the bigger boobs (good) and a slightly different facial expression. I think all the other shit they are accusing her of going under the knife for is bullshit because I literally see 0 difference. I wonder if she was wearing the exact same bathing suit for that photo? If not, where is the old one? Can I have it. I already have a closet full of women’s panties from the countless amount of chicks I bang on a regular basis but I think I can find room for Heidi Montag’s bikini.
Speidi Dresses as Jon and Kate
Oct 30th
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are going all the way for Halloween this week and new they could steal the headlines back from Jon and Kate Gosselin by dressing up as them. I personally think this is a hysterical costume idea and the fact that they are lugging over a dozen baby dolls with them makes the costumes even funnier.
But seriously, they may be peering into their future. They are married and what most people do after they get married is have kids but I guess they are both too big of attention whores to give attention to another small life in this world. However, Heidi has said in the past that not only does she want kids some day but that she actually wants to have multiple kids. If they fuck around and use in vitro fertilization then they may just have sextuplets like Kate Gosselin. Big props to Speidi for this costume idea. It may be topped on Halloween eve but I am giving them the costume of the year so far.
Heidi Montag Nearly Nude and Airbrushed
Aug 14th
So this is Heidi Montag in in her *ahem* adult magazine photoshoot.
Two things:
- I’ve seen more nudity in the Bible
- I’ve seen less airbrushing on a beaded t-shirt in Myrtle Beach South Carolina
Why do they airbrush the SHIT out of these things? She’s like 24 and has huge tits. She’s all set. It’s not like she’s some aging actress trying to get back some of the glory of the Buffy days (sorry Kristy! Call me!). We don’t need “sexy elegant” here. This magazine sits on the back of the toilet in a frat house, not the desk of the CEO of Bank of America next to Yachting Digest. I mean how classy can you really be with your tits hanging out in a spank mag photo session? But I digress…
Speaking of naked tits. THERE ARE NONE. It’s the ultimate tease by a girl who will probably make every man in her life put his fist through a wall. I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t give you partial credit. So, enjoy? These will probably be gone within a few hours.
