Speidi are known for making headlines in their multiple staged public appearances but the truth is now coming out and the fact of the matter is is that they only are in public so much because they live in a filthy shithole back at their home.

Above is a pic taken by Life & Style magazine and it is clear that either Heidi, Spencer or both are fucking slobs. Of course they could have made this mess in a matter of minutes and then told the mag that they may have a hoarding problem for no other reason than to get attention. Yea, it is probably the latter.

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Heidi Montag thinks that having 13 plastic surgeries in one day is not enough and now she is planning a trip to Europe to get even bigger breast implants for the show she is trying to get picked up on Oxygen. This is the first I am hearing of the show but that is probably because I could not give two fucks about Heidi Montag.

What is surprising to me about this story is that Spencer Pratt is actually trying to stop her from getting a bigger size. He says,”I try to stop her. She’ll do what she wants with her body.” I can’t argue with the guy. Big boobs are good but do you know what is better? Small soft boobs. The only person who will rival Heidi Montag’s bust will be Dolly Parton and even that bitch will probably think Heidi over did it.

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Spencer Pratt thinks he is the pimps of pimps because he is fucking Heidi Montag and that chick has tits that makes Pamela Anderson looks flat. He heard about Kate Hudson’s breast implants and Twittered, “How is it possible to get breast implants and still not have breasts?”

I think Kate’s tits are the perfect size and I would love to play with them. Spencer on the other hand has to feel up a couple bags full of silicon that is probably similar to fondling a bag of soft cartilage. Not to mention those big fake lips he has to kiss every night. I truely feel sorry for Spencer Pratt. He is a douche bag though, so I guess he deserves it.

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The other day Heidi Montag sat down with On The Air With Ryan Seacrest and told the listeners that after her ten plastic surgeries she can not hug or jog anymore. I am sure this is bad news for Spencer cause for him it probably means no sex. I wonder what would happen if she were being persued by a psychopath and had to run? Would those things just fall out?

Also, she told Ryan that she has footage of the entire day at the hospital in which she went under the knife for a shocking ten plastic surgery procedures. She also said that it might be on a reality show some time in the future. Basically she doesn’t think it is enough when people see her in the tabloids and wanna puke their guys out. Now she wants to make people puke by seeing how someone becomes someone who makes you wanna puke your guts out.

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It seems that America’s most hated TV couple may be hitting the rocks. It is being reported by OK magazine that Heidi Montag has moved out of her and Spencer Pratt’s Hollywood home and is now staying with friends. MTV declined to comment probably because Heidi is their little cash cow.

I never thought I would see the day of the end of Speidi but that day has arrived and I am very happy. It is also good cause that means Heidi Montag is back on the market and I can finally hook up with her. Not that I want to have anything to do with that plastic surgery ridden face but she can wear a brown paper bag while I titty fuck those plastic surgery enhanced tits can’t she?

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It is being reported on RadarOnline.com that Heidi Montag is going back to Playboy very soon and that she will strip and actually show us her goody bits this time. I think Hef is a fool for even considering her again after she ripped us off so harshly in 2009. But that fact that she has had multiple plastic surgeries since then and has a much, MUCH bigger rack now, I will forgive her.

The pic above is a before and after pic of Heidi Montag between two of her plastic surgeries but trust me, she is much hotter and much different looking now. I just hope it is one of those “racy” Playboy photo shoots where they show a lot of her downstairs if you know what I mean. Know what I mean? Huh huh? Nudge nudge. Wink wink. Yea, you know what I’m talking about.

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Heidi Montag posed for Playboy in 2009 and everyone was really let down when they found out that there would be no real nudity in it. Heidi has come to her sense and is in negotiations to be in Playboy again but this time show off her new breast implants. She just went broke making her cd and is being offered $500k from Playboy to bare all.

In many ways, Heidi Montag is the perfect girl. All she cares about is her looks so she will always be in shape and sexy. She is a little bit younger than me which is a bonus. She has DDD boobs now. And in the coming years she will be a millionaire again and can support me while I sit on the couch and watch porn sports. She just may be my favorite celebrity. A position that has not been coveted by many. Congrats Heidi. Now shows us those boobies!

The other day Heidi Montag went back to Colorado, her hometown, to visit her mother after she underwent about 18 million plastic surgery procedures. When she saw her mother, he mother didn’t recognize her and Heidi describes her mother’s reaction as, “She was looking at me almost like a zoo animal. It wasn’t like I was her daughter anymore. She was looking at me like I was a circus freak.”

I have been looking at Heidi Montag as a circus freak for years so now me and her mother have something in common. Maybe that means me and Montag’s mom can hook up. That would mean I would be Heidi’s father and I could ground her to her room and not be in front of the paparazzi anymore and if she did look into the cameras I could send her to bed without supper. Yes. This is genius. Why hasn’t anyone else ever thought of this?

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Heidi Montag is probably sick of being famous for being famous so she decided to earn her fame a little bit and make an album. She dumped nearly $2 mil into it but it has sold under 1,000 copies. I haven’t listened to it yet and if it is anything like her last cd then I will probably hate it.

Now that she is broke, hopefully she will revisit Playboy and show a little vag. This is my wish. But if I do not hear from her again for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t mind that either. She isn’t even a paparazzi target. She just follows them. Definitely the most pathetic attention whore I have ever seen.

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I never thought that I would want to bang Heidi Montag more than I already do but after looking at these plastic surgery before and after photos it makes me realize that I REALLY wanna bang Heidi Montag. The chick on the right looks nothing like Heidi and is hotter but believe it or not that isHeidi Montag.

The only true difference I see is the bigger boobs (good) and a slightly different facial expression. I think all the other shit they are accusing her of going under the knife for is bullshit because I literally see 0 difference. I wonder if she was wearing the exact same bathing suit for that photo? If not, where is the old one? Can I have it. I already have a closet full of women’s panties from the countless amount of chicks I bang on a regular basis but I think I can find room for Heidi Montag’s bikini.

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