Fatback Media

She may be one of the sexiest women alive but that won’t help her from going to jail in the next coming weeks and months. Heather Locklear has been formally charged with DUI and that carries a large fine AND/OR 6 months in jail. Wouldn’t that be hot if she was thrown in the clink? A lot of stories would circulate that she is being hassled by big Bertha and the Bettys.

According to People she was not found to be under the influence of alcohol at the time of the arrest in early Sep. Also, the drugs found in her possession were the ones she was prescribed and were the same ones she was under the influence at the time. The only question is, what were the drugs? Was is painkillers? Were they fertility drugs? Because everyone knows how much Heather hates kids. Was is Valtrex? Is she a disease ridden skank like Paris Hilton? Oooh that’s embarrassing. These questions may not be answered but if Heather does go to jail, we can unify this country again with a collective point and laugh!

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