Fatback Media

Jessica Simpson is reported furious that her sister Ashlee Simpson’s recent engagement to boyfriend Pete Wentz may attract more attention than she’s getting lately.

Not to be upstaged, Jessica is now reportedly betrothed to her football star boyfriend Tony Romo.

TMZ reports that an insider revealed to Star magazine, “Jessica would love nothing more than to get married before Ashlee.

It upsets her that her little sister will be married and she won’t. She gets jealous when Ash gets more attention.”

The latest rumour came about after it was overheard that Jessica’s friends were toasting to her “happiness” late last week at P. Diddy’s Hollywood party. (CMR)

There are so many referring sources there, that I just forgot what this post was about. Oh yeah. jessica Simpson is a jealous, catty bitch. She’s a smokin’ hot jealous catty bitch with DD’s so she can pretty much do whatever she wants. She could become the mayor of any major city in the US just by asking. It’s in the constitution. Oh yeah, she’s also our Southern Hottie of the Day (SHOTD) today.

So remember a year ago, when I told you guys that Ryan Reynolds was tapping Scarlett Johansson? Turns out I was not only right about that, I also successfully predicted that the highest possible dimension in string theory is 10. On a related note, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson are engaged. Coincidence? Fuck no.

Johansson, 23, and Reynolds, 31, who have been dating since Spring 2007, are engaged, their rep confirms to Usmagazine.com. Reynolds was engaged to singer Alanis Morissette. They split in February 2007 after four years together. Johansson was previously dating Josh Hartnett. (Us)

The thing that really stands out about this story is how Us magazine CTRL-B’d the names of everyone except the two people the article was about. Bolding is an important typographical modifier. It should not be taken lightly. My stars… typesetting humor. Is there nothing I can’t do? I live life in italics, baby.

These images are from a promo shoot for Scarlett’s new album followed by track off the album. Can Scarlett sing? Um. No.